Better Off Ted

Season 2 Episode 7

Change We Can't Believe In

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Jan 05, 2010 on ABC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

While Ted tries to deal with a security guard turned stalker, Phil and Lem discover they'll have to face their ultimate nightmare: working directly for Veronica.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (14)

      • Phil: Okay, the bacteria are going for the bait. Insert the nano-grenade.
        Lem: Did it explode?
        Phil: Oh, my God. There's flagella everywhere. What have we done?

      • Ted: Every time I walk by the guy, he sucks me into a 15-minute conversation. You do that eight times a day, that adds up to... well, time I could be working on my math skills.

      • Ted: I don't want to insult the guy. If only there were a nice way to say, "You're killing me, you energy-sucking time gobbler."

      • Veronica: The company finally realized the P.A. system in this building needs to be fixed. It makes everything sound like that janitor that got trapped inside the wall. "Let me out. I'm not a ghost!" We do have a lot of fun here.

      • Phil: I suppose we could use the 20 terahertz oscillator.
        Lem: But doesn't that burn through flesh?
        Phil: Not always.
        Lem: How about we use the 10 terahertz oscillator?
        Phil: Ten? Yeah, why don't we just hop on a winged unicorn and fly off to magic land?

      • Veronica: Sorry. From now on when you present ideas to me, only one of you is allowed to talk.
        Lem: But that's not how we work.
        Veronica: Exactly. That's now how we work.
        Lem: Not.
        Veronica: Now.
        Lem: Not.
        Veronica: Now. Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.
        Lem: Not?
        Veronica: Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.
        Phil: We should go.

      • Voiceover: Veridian Dynamics. Friendship. It's so important. But it's different at work. Time spent with friends at work robs your employer of opportunity. And robbing people is wrong. Veridian Dynamics. Friendship. It's the same as stealing.

      • Ryan: You think I talk too much?
        Ted: Well, I don't know about generally, but to me, oh, my God, yes.

      • Linda: So did you hear the latest office gossip? Ryan the security guard quit his job because you're a giant douche-mobile. That's right, you're a douche on wheels. Or perhaps a decorative sculpture hanging above a baby douche's crib. The gossip didn't specify.

      • Lem: So it's your turn in the saddle, cowboy. get on that horse and... I don't know any more cowboy things. Wait. Beans.

      • Lem: Together we're a thing of beauty, like a swan.
        Phil: But on my own, I'll be like half a swan. All I'll do is make a big mess and die.

      • Phil: You know what might brighten your day? A peek at the smallest squirrel science can make.
        Lem: But we're going to have to ask you to wear a face mask. He's crazy easy to inhale.

      • Veronica: Here, you do it.
        Phil: Me?
        Veronica: No, the microphone-attaching elf who lives in my drawer.
        Phil: Talking about drawer elves isn't going to make this any less scary.

      • Veronica: Maybe my kindergarten teacher was right. Maybe I am too controlling.

    • NOTES (2)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Title:
        Referring to Barack Obama's presidential campaign slogan in 2008: "Change we can believe in." This slogan illustrated his plan to renew America's promise and was often associated with another keyword of his campaign: hope. Barack Obama wanted the Americans to believe that a new America was still possible, even after what the Bush administration had done. Basically, he was offering a clean slate.