Better Off Ted

Season 1 Episode 11

Father, Can You Hair Me?

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Jul 21, 2009 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
82 votes

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Episode Summary

Ted and Veronica deal with father issues: Ted's team discovers a cure for male-pattern baldness that he hopes will please his father, and Veronica gets news that will change her relationship with her father, the CEO of a rival company.

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  • Daddy Issues and Hair Growth...

    This has been a weak episode of Better off Ted. After a few good installments, this one has slipped back into what I previously called as a 12-year old's school play.

    The usual sharp humor was clearly missing here. Linda is back to being an annoying blonde. Though, I never though she was ever funny. The hair growth potion was simply too gross, and what's up with the sequence where Ted starts to shave his desk. I think we are well past that kind of humor. Veronica's storyline was weak, though she appears to be reading lines from the prompter, she has actually crawled under the skin of the role. Poor episode.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (13)

    • Ted: Veronica, quick question.
      Veronica: What is it with everyone and their questions this morning? "Where'd you learn to drive? Will you marry me? Why'd you say that to my baby?"

    • Veronica: Ted, you don't have to go through all this. Just say the word and the election's her's. We did for Iceland and we can do it for your kid.

    • Veronica: Ooh, flowers.
      Ted: Look at you, having a girlie moment.
      Veronica: Crap on a cracker!
      Ted: And she's back.

    • Ted: My father and I hardly speak. We are like oil and... what's that thing that's always disappointing oil? Oh, yeah, it's me.

    • Ted: So, what's the latest on the wrinkle cream?
      Phil: It's a disaster.
      Lem: A debacle.
      Phil: A disasticle.

    • Lem: But what about protocol?
      Ted: Forget protocol. Did Einstein stop to fill out paperwork before discovering his Theory of Relativity?
      Phil: Actually, he was a patent clerk, so all he did was fill out paperwork.

    • Veronica: So obviously that whale thing is a winner, or you wouldn't be telling me it's a loser.
      Elijah: Unless it's really a loser, and I'm pretending it's a loser to make you think it's a winner.
      Veronica: Or I'm pretending to think it's a winner, when I actually know it's a loser because you said it's a loser to make me think it's a winner.
      Elijah: And so... the student becomes the master.
      Veronica: Or the student has always been the master, and just wanted the master to think the master was the master when he was actually just the student.
      Elijah: These conversations are why your mother left us.
      Veronica: That, and the fact you porked your way through my sorority.

    • Lem: We are not mad scientists, Ted, regardless of what our bowling shirts might say.

    • Voiceover: Veridian Dynamics. We're working hard to make your life better. But our competitor, DigiVation, wants to ruin your life. Since DigiVation was founded 50 years ago, millions have died. Millions more have become sad. What's your problem, DigiVation? Veridian Dynamics. Good. DigiVation. Bad.

    • Veronica: What is this, Dutch blend? I hate Dutch blend. And the Dutch, too. Those people are lunatics, with their wooden shoes and their fatty sausage.
      Linda: What about your father?
      Veronica: I don't know how he feels about the Dutch. You'll have to ask him.

    • Linda: Veronica, you need to spend time with him, do father-daughter things that don't involve stealing secrets. Instead, steal his heart, fill it with love and then give it back. But not literally. That would be murder.

    • Ted: While Lem and Phil are looking for a more permanent solution, I'm just trying to keep my office from looking like a girl I used to date. It's a long story, but yes, she looked like a desk with hair.

    • Linda: Uh, Mr. Palmer, I'm Linda. I-I'm, a friend of your dau... well, no really a friend of your daughter's. More of a colleague. No, I'm definitely not a colleague. We're not equals in any way. I guess if you forced me to define the relationship...
      Elijah: Young lady, are you aware that I have only one year to live?

  • NOTES (1)

    • International Airdates:
      Latin America: November 23, 2009 on Canal FX
      Czech Republic: May 5, 2010 on Prima COOL
      UK: August 31, 2010 on FX