Better Off Ted

Season 1 Episode 2


Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Mar 25, 2009 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
135 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Veronica worries about legal problems after Phil suffers problems after the cryogenic experiment. Phil and Lem try to create meatless beef.

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  • OK. But still not there yet.

    I try not to be overly critical and try to judge this fairly as this happens to be just the second episode. Ted tries to step in solve the problem of Phil suing the company. However, the plan backfires as Phil's ego skyrockets and this causes problems with his lab partner Lem. Veronica resorts to desperate measure and flirts with Phil to get his signature on a document that says he won't sue the company. The other focus of the episode was the artificial meat product, which I think was a little funny. The final scene was the best.

    Like I mentioned, the show is still not there yet. Mostly the entire premise of the show is silly - bunch of white suited goofy men developing some crazy product. The creamer storyline is getting a bit too much. Jay Harrington looks a bit out of place in terms of his character. Portia de Rossi is still trying hard to put on that chic attitude. I probably think this show would be a one-season affair.moreless
  • An absolutely hilarious episode!

    It's great to see another good, funny, unusual comedy appear on television. For so long, the "predictable" sitcom was king and now, the sitcom seems to be a dead format. The Office was a fresh approach to the genre and has been great. I think Better Off Ted stands a chance to be a great comedy as well. It's off-beat and unusual. The characters are likeable and strange. I love the dynamic between the lab partners, Phil and Lem. It's like they're an old married couple. Their dialogue and interaction in this episode was laugh out loud hilarious. The opening comercial for Veridian Dynamics was funny. Ted's boss Veronica is wonderfully agressive and Ted's love interest, Linda is wonderfully weird. I hope it get's picked up for another season!moreless
Carla Jimenez

Carla Jimenez

Lab Worker #2

Guest Star

Peter Spruyt

Peter Spruyt


Guest Star

Bill Stevenson

Bill Stevenson

Lab Worker #1

Recurring Role

Rizwan Manji

Rizwan Manji

Male Office Worker

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (15)

    • (Talking about Phil's involvement in the meat project)
      Ted: But, without Phil this meat project is not going to happen.
      Veronica: But, I need the meat project.
      Ted: Then, you need Phil.
      Veronica: But, we can't use Phil.
      Ted: Then, you can't have the meat project.
      Veronica: But, I need the meat project.
      Ted: Then, you need Phil.
      Veronica: But, I can't use Phil.
      Ted: (awkward silence) You prefer this to small talk?

    • Voiceover: Veridian Dynamics. We're the future of food, developing the next generation of food and food-like products. Tomatoes... the size of this baby, lemon-flavored fish, chicken that lay 16 eggs a day, which is a lot for a chicken, organic vegetables chock-full of antidepressants. At Veridian Dynamics, we can even make radishes so spicy that people can't eat them, but we're not, because people can't eat them. Veridian Dynamics. Food. Yum.

    • Veronica: Ted.
      Ted: Veronica.
      Veronica: How are you?
      Ted: I'm fine. Why?
      Veronica: I was just seeing what small talk might look like.
      Ted: Oh, well, usually, you...
      Veronica: Please stop. I feel like I just pissed away my day.

    • Veronica: We have a problem. The Food Division just told me that the "Extra Fun Mac and Cheese" I'm supposed to be presenting to the shareholders causes blindness if eaten more than twice a week. Plus, no matter how long it's cooked, it never gets hot.
      Ted: Maybe it's not Mac and Cheese.
      Veronica: Oh, no, it has to be. They've already designed the box.

    • Ted: At least meat grown in a test tube doesn't feel pain. Please tell me it doesn't feel pain.
      Lem: We don't think so.
      Phil: Yeah, although interestingly, it does respond to music.

    • Linda: I wish you didn't have your stupid one-office-affair rule, and that you hadn't used your one office affair so stupidly.
      Ted: And I wish you hadn't called me stupid twice in one sentence, but here we are.

    • Veronica: Legal is worried that Phil might think his annoying outbursts are connected to our allegedly freezing him.
      Ted: We didn't "allegedly" freeze him, we froze him. Like a human leftover.
      Veronica: Legal says we don't know what that chamber is that he entered freely. The latest theory is that he may have been attempting to perform a magic trick.
      Ted: Oh, yeah, that magic trick where the company freezes him.

    • Phil: I've never been in the executive dining room before. It's nice.
      Veronica: Well, now you can have lunch here any time you want. (sotto voce) For the next week.

    • Phil: I am the Below Zero Hero. Julie in Employee Services asked for my autograph. That's right, Julie. With those breasts in front. It's a new Phil, Lem. You had better get used to it.

    • Jerome: (sampling cow-less meat) It tastes familiar.
      Ted: Beef?
      Jerome: No.
      Linda: Chicken? We'll take chicken.
      Ted: What does it taste like?
      Jerome: Despair.
      Ted: Is it possible it just needs salt?

    • Ted: We may have created a monster in the lab.
      Veronica: It's not a monster. It's a cyborg that can kill without remorse.
      Ted: I was talking about Phil.
      Veronica: I was also talking about Phil. (Ted looks skeptical) It's classified. It's going to be a fantastic new tool. If we can get it to tell the difference between soldiers and children.
      Ted: We have a Phil problem. And that means we have a meat problem.
      Veronica: I can't have a Phil or a meat problem. Bad enough I have a cyborg problem. Stupid thing just kills whatever is in front of it.

    • Lem: Maybe the meat blob's not taking in enough nutrients. I guess I could try and give it a mouth.
      Ted: I'm gonna say no to the meat blob getting a mouth. Mostly because I don't want to hear what it has to say.

    • Phil: How can I know so much about the bonds of chemicals yet so little about the bonds of friendship?

    • Ted: Guys! You're together. And you have 72 hours to make that thing taste like something a drunk teenager would tip over. (Phil and Lem stare) Cow. I'm talking about a cow.

    • Ted: I... I would love to help you with that, Linda, but I used up my office affair.
      Linda: It's not like voting, Ted. You can punch more than one ballot.
      Ted: I... I don't want to be a guy who votes around.

  • NOTES (1)

    • International Airdates:
      Latin America: September 21, 2009 on Canal FX
      Czech Republic: April 20, 2010 on Prima COOL
      United Kingdom: July 27, 2010 on FX