Better Off Ted

Season 2 Episode 4

It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Dec 29, 2009 on ABC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

While Lem tries to figure out why Veridian wants him to wear a red lab coat, Ted is forced to step in when Veronica spends all of her time with boyfriend magician, Mordor.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (12)

      • Ted: It turns out developing cheese that never spoils is harder than we thought. Right now, it's more of a cheddar-colored fabric that does spoil

      • Veronica: This weekend, Mordor and I am going scuba diving. Last weekend we raced cars in the desert and ate a rattlesnake... and a goat that wandered into our camp, and then a light salad.

      • Veronica: I know I've been distracted lately, but I'll be fine. I'm just living an exciting and full life--burning the candle at both ends. The way my great-grandfather, a misunderstood candlemaker, insisted candles should be burned.

      • Linda: Whenever I have sex, I have to be alert the next day so I don't make mistakes. I have to be alert during sex so I don't make mistakes. Basically, I always have to be alert.
        Ted: Is it possible to make mistakes during a sex, for a woman to make mistakes during sex?

      • Linda: God, you'd be hard to go out with.
        Ted: Hey, I am fantastic to go out with. I'm... I'm thoughtful as a man can be, while still pillaging like a Viking in the bedroom. But I am not getting involved in Veronica's personal life.
        Linda: So my boss gets to have all the sex-fun of a relationship, while all the stress of being exhausted trickles down to me? Man, capitalism blows.

      • Phil: Wow. Can you imagine how great it would be to just take Veronica out in the middle of the day and have lunch with her?
        Lem: You should try to aim higher for your fantasies.

      • Ted: This... this is about Veronica. See, she has a very high-pressure job. And she does it with 100% focus.
        Mordor: Oh, she's the same in bed. Or when dismembering a goat.
        Ted: Right. So you and the other animals have seen it.

      • Linda: What did you say to Mordor?
        Ted: I did not tell him to have sex with Veronica while she's sleeping. Why? What did he do?
        Linda: I walked into the supply closet, and he was in there with Ashley from Accounting. And they were not looking for supplies. Unless she uses her ya-ha to store office supplies and he uses his yang-doodle to look for things. That's what my mom calls it.

      • Linda: Oh, don't be that guy who points fingers. No one likes a pointer. Even in the dog world, they're seen as insufferable.

      • Veronica: God, you people are paranoid. No wonder the company has to secretly manipulate you.

      • Veronica: Of course it was an accident. Although, the man was cheating on me, and my subconscious is very protective, and sometimes kind of a douche.

      • Veronica: My God, Ted, you don't tell a man like Mordor to be less passionate. It's like telling Gandhi to be less... whatever he was. Thin.

    • NOTES (1)

      • International Airdates:
        Latin America: April 5, 2010 on Canal FX
        Czech Republic: May 17, 2010 on Prima COOL
        UK: September 21, 2010 on FX
        Slovakia: March 17, 2013 on JOJ Plus

    • ALLUSIONS (0)