Better Off Ted

Season 2 Episode 4

It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Dec 29, 2009 on ABC

Episode Recap

Ted explains it's important to keep his personal life separate from his work life, just as Linda asks about his most recent date and comments his date wouldn't have sex with him. Ted insists that there was a good reason for it.

Phil arrives in the lab and discovers that Lem is wearing a red lab coat. Lem admits he doesn't know what's going on and the lab coat was waiting for him. Phil quickly makes sure that his lab coat is white. None of the other lab staff know what it means, either.

Ted and Linda report to Veronica about their non-spoiling cheese, but she's busy sleeping with her eyes open. They wake her up and she claims that they're boring. Ted realizes that it's because she's having a passionate and tiring relationship with Mordor the Magician. Unfortunately, it's distracting her at work. Veronica explains everything that they've been doing: mostly hours and hours of sex. As they leave, Linda says they need a focused Veronica so they can finish their project, and says Ted should talk to Mordor and persuade him to turn it down a few notches. He refuses to get involved, figuring Mordor and Veronica would both resent it.

Phil and Lem come to see Ted and ask about Lem's red lab coat. The company refuses to answer their question about what it's for. Ted suggests they're singling Lem out for an honor, but Phil notes that he did the exact same work. As they argue, Linda comes in to inform them that Mordor has come to pick up Veronica for lunch. They need an extension from Chet for their project and need him to restrain himself with Veronica. Ted reluctantly agrees to do so and tries to convince Mordor to let Veronica get more sleep. Mordor has trouble grasping the concept but Ted gets through to him… sort of.

Linda finds Mordor in the supply closet with someone else. She tells Ted, who insists it's better if they stay out of it entirely. Linda thinks Ted should tell her and he reluctantly goes to see Veronica. She talks about how free she feels with Mordor, so Ted decides to ask about the red lab coat instead. Veronica admits that it has no meaning, but studies show that random changes increase productivity. She tells him that he can't tell anyone. Ted starts to go but tells her that Mordor is having an affair, and she wonders why when she's giving him plenty of sex.

Later, when Mordor comes in, Veronica shoots him with a spear gun and asks about the accountant he's having an affair with.

At the hospital, Veronica explains to Ted that she thinks she shot Mordor by accident. She blames Ted for telling her subconscious. The doctor arrives to tell them that Mordor will be fine, and Veronica goes to break up with Mordor.

Phil arrives late and discovers that Lem now has his white lab coat back. One of the other technicians comes in with the red lab coat and a jealous Phil can't decide whether to order him out or touch the coat.

The next day, Veronica tells Ted that she made up with Mordor. Ted inadvertently reveals he told Mordor to cut back, and explains he was worried about Veronica's luster. Veronica wants some distance between them and sends him to the Ridiculously Tiny Office. As Ted tries to fit in, literally, Phil and Lem come to see him about the lab coat. Ted tries to explain without actually telling them anything. Linda comes in to tell him it was a bad idea to diss Mordor to Veronica. He blames Linda for getting him involved. Phil and Lem try to get out and finally succeed while Linda and Ted argue, and the scientists figure that the lab coat is a punishment.

The next day, Ted comes to see Veronica and see if she's over it. She isn't.

In the lab, Phil gets the red lab coat. They resolve to work even harder.

Ted goes back to his office to get some papers and discovers Mordor having sex with yet another employee. He figures he can fool around as long as Veronica shoots him afterward. Ted tells Mordor that he doesn't deserve Veronica. Offended, Mordor challenges him to fight and waves his hands in an ancient Peruvian martial art of Quad-Dela-Ran-Sha hand-slapping. Ted is soon begging for mercy.

Later, Veronica tends to an injured Ted and says she's through with Mordor. She's impressed that he stood up for her and gives him a friendly kiss. She squeezes out and assures Linda that Ted is fine. They both admit that Ted fighting for Veronica's honor is hot, and Veronica suggests Ted would be good in a relationship.

Phil goes to the lab again and discovers he has a red lab coat. Later, Ted decides to end Phil and Lem's suffering by getting rid of the red coat. He decides to brighten up their lives by secretly leaving a red rose… and they wonder if it's a warning from the company.