Better Off Ted

Season 1 Episode 12


Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Aug 11, 2009 on ABC
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Episode Summary

Ted is forced to create a fake project for Linda rather than admit the commercial that Veridian is going green is false. When other employees try to sign up for the program, things start to go awry.

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Stefan Marks

Stefan Marks


Guest Star

Yuki Matsuzaki

Yuki Matsuzaki

Scientist #1

Guest Star

Keisuke Hoashi

Keisuke Hoashi

Scientist #2

Guest Star

Rizwan Manji

Rizwan Manji


Recurring Role

Terry Rhoads

Terry Rhoads


Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

    • For the first time, the Veridian Dynamics commercial isn't shown at the first commercial break. Instead, it was showed at the beginning of the episode.

  • QUOTES (11)

    • Voiceover: Veridian Dynamics. The environment. Everyone likes it. And so, we do too. That's why we're committed to saving it. Veridian Dynamics is turning every one of our buildings 100% green. It's ridiculously expensive and spending money makes us sad. But we're doing it because we love nature, even when it's being mean or just acting stupid. Veridian Dynamics. Greening our world.

    • Ted: So how did I get here? Because I like a girl, specifically this girl. And like so many stories about a girl, this one starts with gunplay.

    • Lem: We've disappointed him.
      Phil: No one would want to be us right now, and since we are us right now, it's very difficult.

    • Veronica: There is no program to green the building.
      Ted: Yeah there is. They made a commercial about it.
      Veronica: I didn't say there wasn't a commercial about greening the building. I said there is no program to green the building.
      Ted: So it's all a lie?
      Veronica: They prefer to look at it as a dream.
      Ted: But one they're not working towards/
      Veronica: Are you working toward all your dreams, Ted? Then stop pointing fingers.

    • Ted: The company has classified this as confidential.
      Linda: But it's a good thing. Why does it need to be confidential?
      Ted: Because, uh, if only bad things were confidential, then every time they labeled something as "confidential," people would know it was bad.
      Linda: That's weird.
      Ted: I know. Then don't do it.

    • Ted: Oh, man, this lie has spread like mayonnaise at a Baptist picnic.

    • Veronica: I wish I had the power to make everyone go away. Oh, wait. I do.

    • Phil: And so we're looking for a way to make Ted feel good about us again.
      Lem: Any ideas?
      Linda: I don't know. Buy him a candle.
      Lem: That's not gonna fly. Ted hates things that light on fire.
      Phil: Hey, Ted likes Linda.
      Lem: You wanna give him Linda?
      Phil: Well, I mean, I wasn't thinking that, but...
      Linda: I will be given to no man! I saw that in a movie once. (the guys stare) Nothing.

    • Phil: What about bio luminescence? Fireflies have been using it for 2,000 years.
      Lem: Fireflies--the flaming plates of the insect world.

    • Veronica: In a couple of hours we're presenting Jabberwocky to the entire division.
      Ted: What? Why'd you agree to that?
      Veronica: Oh, really, Ted, is that your strategy, let's make this Veronica's fault?
      Ted: You're the only person I told.
      Veronica: Wow. It is your strategy. That is so thin.

    • Ted: I hope you're not upset.
      Linda: Nah. You stole from the company for me. How could a girl be mad at someone that does that.?You're like my thief in shining armor.

  • NOTES (1)

    • International Airdates:
      Latin America: November 30, 2009 on Canal FX
      Czech Republic: May 6, 2010 on Prima COOL
      UK: August 31, 2010 on FX


    • Title:

      Referencing the poem by Lewis Carroll found in the 1872 novel Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There. The Jabberwock is a huge dragon-like beast. The boy in the poem slays it using a vorpal sword to behead the vile creature.