Better Off Ted

Season 1 Episode 12


Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Aug 11, 2009 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • For the first time, the Veridian Dynamics commercial isn't shown at the first commercial break. Instead, it was showed at the beginning of the episode.

  • Quotes

    • Voiceover: Veridian Dynamics. The environment. Everyone likes it. And so, we do too. That's why we're committed to saving it. Veridian Dynamics is turning every one of our buildings 100% green. It's ridiculously expensive and spending money makes us sad. But we're doing it because we love nature, even when it's being mean or just acting stupid. Veridian Dynamics. Greening our world.

    • Ted: So how did I get here? Because I like a girl, specifically this girl. And like so many stories about a girl, this one starts with gunplay.

    • Lem: We've disappointed him.
      Phil: No one would want to be us right now, and since we are us right now, it's very difficult.

    • Veronica: There is no program to green the building.
      Ted: Yeah there is. They made a commercial about it.
      Veronica: I didn't say there wasn't a commercial about greening the building. I said there is no program to green the building.
      Ted: So it's all a lie?
      Veronica: They prefer to look at it as a dream.
      Ted: But one they're not working towards/
      Veronica: Are you working toward all your dreams, Ted? Then stop pointing fingers.

    • Ted: The company has classified this as confidential.
      Linda: But it's a good thing. Why does it need to be confidential?
      Ted: Because, uh, if only bad things were confidential, then every time they labeled something as "confidential," people would know it was bad.
      Linda: That's weird.
      Ted: I know. Then don't do it.

    • Ted: Oh, man, this lie has spread like mayonnaise at a Baptist picnic.

    • Veronica: I wish I had the power to make everyone go away. Oh, wait. I do.

    • Phil: And so we're looking for a way to make Ted feel good about us again.
      Lem: Any ideas?
      Linda: I don't know. Buy him a candle.
      Lem: That's not gonna fly. Ted hates things that light on fire.
      Phil: Hey, Ted likes Linda.
      Lem: You wanna give him Linda?
      Phil: Well, I mean, I wasn't thinking that, but...
      Linda: I will be given to no man! I saw that in a movie once. (the guys stare) Nothing.

    • Phil: What about bio luminescence? Fireflies have been using it for 2,000 years.
      Lem: Fireflies--the flaming plates of the insect world.

    • Veronica: In a couple of hours we're presenting Jabberwocky to the entire division.
      Ted: What? Why'd you agree to that?
      Veronica: Oh, really, Ted, is that your strategy, let's make this Veronica's fault?
      Ted: You're the only person I told.
      Veronica: Wow. It is your strategy. That is so thin.

    • Ted: I hope you're not upset.
      Linda: Nah. You stole from the company for me. How could a girl be mad at someone that does that.?You're like my thief in shining armor.

  • Notes

    • International Airdates:
      Latin America: November 30, 2009 on Canal FX
      Czech Republic: May 6, 2010 on Prima COOL
      UK: August 31, 2010 on FX

  • Allusions

    • Title:

      Referencing the poem by Lewis Carroll found in the 1872 novel Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There. The Jabberwock is a huge dragon-like beast. The boy in the poem slays it using a vorpal sword to behead the vile creature.