Better Off Ted

Season 2 Episode 10

Lust in Translation

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Jan 19, 2010 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Ted: And listen. The Germans are all worried because, ironically, they think that Veridian is ruthlessly efficient and bent on world domination.
      Phil: Wow. That's like when those Irish auditors thought our accounting department drank too much and wrote overly depressing poetry.

    • Lem: We don't create evil things.
      Ted: Some might see this long-range people-skinning laser as evil-ish.
      Phil: Well, that was only designed so you could peel an orange in your kitchen while sitting comfortably in your living room.
      Ted: Well, now it's used to peel enemy soldiers overseas while you sit comfortably in the Pentagon.

    • Lem: Oh, my God. Maybe we're evil scientists.
      Phil: (laughing manically) I'm sorry. I laugh like that when faced with an unpleasant truth. That's why I got thrown out of that Al Gore movie.

    • Veronica: We believe the multi-language translator will create a furor in Germany, a furor that will sweep across Europe, crushing... no.

    • Veronica: Do you live here? Do all the cubicle workers have little hobbit holes like this?
      Linda: No, some of us nest in trees, others have underground warrens.

    • Veronica: Because I'm good at everything I do. I'm not bragging, because bragging is the one thing I'm not good at. Although, if I wanted to be, I'd be excellent at that, too. As I just proved.

    • Ted: Veronica is late for our big meeting with the Germans, who, of course, are right on time. What? It's a positive stereotype.

    • Veronica: Oh, God, we have unhappy Germans. Nothing good has ever come from that.

    • Veronica: I saw what was going on in there between you and Fraulein Cheekbones. When you show her around town, keep your Hansels off her Gretels.
      Ted: I was just being friendly.
      Veronica: I'm serous, Ted. This deal is too important and sex can screw things up. Why do you think the Three Stooges went through so many Curlys?

    • Ted: Phil, why on earth would you use your voice for the translator device?
      Phil: It was the fastest way to fix it, since we already had my voice in the computer from that failed talking frying pan project.
      Lem: Stupid thing wouldn't stop screaming when you put it on the burner.
      Phil: Plus, it was very critical. "You really need that much butter?" Screw you, frying pan.

    • Ted: It's hard for me to fulfill my manly duties when Phil keeps telling me how much I'm pleasuring him.
      Phil: Oh, my God.
      Ted: Yes, you said that a lot last night.

    • Ted: What are you afraid of? If you... if you throw a game, it's gonna keep you out of the time-wasters hall of fame?
      Linda: No. My position there is secure from getting my art history degree.

    • Lem: Maybe we should take a stand. Maybe we should say this is the one thing that must not be used for evil.
      Phil: Or maybe we say that the next thing we make must not be used for evil, but this one we're fine with. And maybe the next one after that. But someday, they will push us too far, and the next time after that..
      Lem: No, the time is now. 12:35. Maybe we should discuss this for another 20 minutes and then commit to something.

    • Phil: Are you sure we're doing the right thing?
      Lem: I've never been so sure about being unsure of anything in my life.
      Phil: Good. Then we're on the same page. Let's do it.

    • Ted: And congratulations to you for falling through the ceiling in a metal tube and winning that game. That's gotta feel good.
      Veronica: You're gonna have to speak up. I'm temporarily deaf in one ear. As you may know, I fell through the ceiling in a metal tube. But at least I won that game, and that feels good.

    • Lem: These super-bagels are terrible. You can totally taste the high impact carbon.
      Phil: That's because they're 98% high impact carbon. Whenever you go past 97%, it's hard to mask the taste.

  • Notes

    • International Airdates:
      Latin America: May 17, 2010 on Canal FX
      Czech Republic: May 26, 2010 on Prima COOL
      UK: October 12, 2010 on FX
      Slovakia: April 14, 2013 on JOJ Plus

  • Allusions

    • Phil: I laugh like that when faced with an unpleasant truth. That's why I got thrown out of that Al Gore movie.
      Referencing the documentary movie An Inconvenient Truth (2006), which features former vice president Al Gore making the case for the existence of global warming.

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