Better Off Ted

Season 1 Episode 13

Secrets and Lives

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Aug 11, 2009 on ABC

Episode Recap

Linda tries to talk to Veronica about her personal life and the fact her boyfriend wants her to move in. Veronica doesn’t particularly care. They get to the meeting, where Ted introduces the teams now face-scanning Internet search program. They demonstrate using a photo of Veronica and she’s impressed, until a picture of her comes up on stage with a magician. Veronica decides to tell everyone Linda is moving in with her boyfriend and runs for the door.

Ted tries to make casual conversation with Veronica but finally brings up the magician, whose name is Mordor. She explains that they shared an instant animal attraction and now she flies to Las Vegas every other weekend to perform. She finds it a total release. Unfortunately, the staff can’t help doing magic tricks in front of her. Veronica dreaded the day would come when people would find out about her other life. Ted tries to assure her that people will forget it eventually but Veronica thinks it undermines her authority and has no choice but to quit the magic job.

Meanwhile, Phil has used the new search program to search his own image and finds pictures of himself at a rodeo that he doesn’t remember. Lem realizes that the search engine has found pictures of Bryon McNurtney, someone that looks exactly like Phil. Phil realizes that it hasn’t been his looks that have been holding back all these years.

Ted is comfortable with who he is and he’s fine with everything. Linda decides she wants him to be happy so she sets him up with her friend, a veterinarian named Rebecca. Ted isn’t interested until Rebecca shows up. She apologizes for Linda setting her up, but Linda continues and pushes them into going on a date.

Without the magic act, Veronica needs a new way to release stress. She finally realizes that slapping her employees works. Unfortunately, Ted is pretty sure that slapping employees could get her fired. Veronica admits to him that she has to choose her executive career but Ted says she can’t throw away her career. Veronica has no choice but to slap her, and he slaps her back.

The magician, Mordor, is in town and Ted goes to see her. Mordor doesn’t want Veronica back after she’s abandoned her, but Ted points out that his current assistant isn’t particularly skilled. The magician refuses to let Veronica break his heart again.

Phil finds more pictures of Bryon and decides that he lacks confidence. He figures he can fake confidence and Lem decides to test it by having Phil get a woman’s phone number. Meanwhile, Ted tells Veronica he talked to Mordor and explains why he’s upset. Veronica realizes that Mordor needs a competent assistant and decides to help him one last time.

Linda watches Rose while Ted and Rebecca go on their date. As soon as they’re gone, Rose wants to know why Linda isn’t dating her dad. She eventually gets around to admitting she has a boyfriend.

At the company gym, Phil fakes confidence and approaches a woman. It starts to go well but then her boyfriend appears.

Later, Rose asks her dad about the date. He realizes she wants him with Rose but refuses to let her decide.

Phil returns to the lab, beat up, and explains to Lem that the woman’s boyfriend actually saw him as a threat. Lem is impressed, but Phil says that confidence leads to the emergency room and he’s going to stick with who he is.

Rebecca describes the date to Linda, who notes she doesn’t seem very excited. As Linda shows her photos, Rebecca realizes that she’s obsessed with Ted. Linda denies it but Rebecca notes that she’s more interested in Ted then her boyfriend. Linda quickly denies any interest and takes Rebecca to lunch.

Ted goes to Mordor’s show and sits in the back so he won’t make her nervous. Unfortunately, all the other Veridian employees find out and sit up front. Ted spots them and goes backstage to warn Veronica. He tells her that as long as she has self-respect and dignity, there won’t be a problem. Veronica doesn’t believe it but Ted says she has to do it to be true to her love. As Mordor arrives for their pre-show sex/pray, Veronica decides to do the show.

The show goes perfectly and her co-workers are stunned into attentive silence. As Mordor and Veronica receive a standing ovation, Veronica assures her boyfriend that she’s not going anywhere. And rather than slapping employees, she does magic trick.

Phil erases all of the McNurtney photos.

Linda calls to tell Don that she hasn’t been honest and she’s in the wrong relationship. Ted brings her flowers to thank her for getting him back into the game. Unfortunately, it’s Rebecca. And Linda does a little slapping of her own.