Merton: Now wait, there's gotta be some way to reverse your vampire reason to make you human again. Cassandra: The only way to return to being human is to stake the vampire who bit you. Merton: Hey, no problem-o! The internet is an exellent tool to locate long lost friends. Do you have cable modem or DSL? Cassandra: Unfortunately, the vampire who bit me was condemned to death during the Spanish Inquisition of 1483. Merton: Stupid Spanish Inquistion! Curse you, Torquemada! Cassandra: There is one other way we can be together. You could become a vampire.
Cassandra: But please, Merton. Not everyone's as tolerant as you when it comes to vampires. You can't tell anyone about me and Christina. Merton: You have my solemn pledge. (The next day at Pleasantville High, in the cafeteria, with Tommy and Lori) Merton: Cassandra and Christina are vampires!
Christina: Tonight, we slay. Merton: Slay? That sounds a little violent. Can't you just pick it up in the frozen-foods section? Christina: I don't think the local supermarket carries werewolf, Merton. Merton: Beg pardon?
This episode references the films Dude, Where's My Car?, Nosferatu, and Blade.
Multiple References: This episode contains references to Blade; Dude, Where's My Car?, and Nosferatu.
(none): Everybody Fang Chung Tonight.
Spoof of the song Everybody Wang Chung tonight by Wang Chung.
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