Stalk Like an Egyptian

Season 1, Episode 10, Aired

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When Tommy and Merton unknowingly resurrect an old mummy on a school field-trip, the dead mummy becomes a teenage boy, and is out to make Stacey his queen, forever...
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      • (describing the next plagues to occur) Merton: (reading from the Bible) 'And there came a grievous swarm of flies into all of Egypt, and Moses sprinkled it up toward heaven...' blah, blah, blah... Tommy: You can't 'blah, blah, blah' the Bible. Merton: Sorry.

      • (Merton is describing the mummification process) Merton: They ran a metal hook up through the nose and scrambled the brain like an egg! And then they hung the body upside-down and the goo just dripped out like a gray-matter smoothie!

      • Tommy: I was ten pins shy of a perfect game! Merton: Ten pins shy? Were you having one of your bowling fantasies again? Tommy: No! (Beat) Yes!

      • Merton: Once awakened, mummies can generate a youthful appearance and mesmerise people with their hypnotic gaze... Tommy: Gotta like Aerosmith, eh? So... what are they after? Merton: Beautiful women. Tommy: No, not Aerosmith, the mummy guys. Merton: I was talking about the mummy guys!

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