Big Wolf on Campus

Tommy: Stacey's a witch? I can't date a witch. Merton: Tommy, you're a werewolf. I mean, I'm no Chuck Woolery, but kinda seems like the Halloween episode of Love Connection.

Merton: I'd like to amend my original hypothesis. They're not robots, they're witches!

Tommy: (voiceover) For most high school seniors, planning for college is a major decision, but I had it all figured out. I was gonna play football at State U., room with Merton and spend another four years with Stacy. Yeah, it was gonna be perfect.

(Travis begins stuttering, repeating what he would like to say over and over. Tim hits him over the head, and it works) Travis: So maybe you could give us a recommendation! (Turns to Tim) Thanks Tim. (Tim flashes him a thumbs-up)

Merton: Inside the cybernetics laboratory, Professor Hundlesheen stands over a motionless body! Next to him, his trusted assisstant, Martin Cringle! Jet-black hair, impish good looks, 6"2'! (Merton reads Hundlesheen's line) 'Martin! I've done it! I've created a sorority cyborg!' (Merton reads Martin's first line) 'Doc, doc! She's so beautiful! I can't believe she's a machine!' (Merton goes back to himself, and turns to Tommy) Hello!? What was wrong? Tommy: I don't know about those sorority girls. Merton: Well, they don't have to be sorority girls, they could be stewardesses! The story works on many levels!