Black Books

Season 3 Episode 2

Elephants and Hens

Aired Friday 9:00 PM Mar 18, 2004 on Channel 4
out of 10
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Episode Summary

It is International Children's Book Week, and Bernard and Manny decide to write their own kids' classic and retire on the proceeds. Fran is off on a hen weekend, but still finds a way to fall out with Bernard and Manny.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (3)

    • QUOTES (6)

      • (Manny reading Bernard and Manny's Book)
        Manny: There's the elephant. He's happy with his balloon. Oh no! It's gone! Where is it?
        (Bernard looks drunkenly shocked)
        Manny: It's not behind the rhino.
        (Both shake their heads)
        Manny: Look in the alligator's mouth.
        Both: It's not there either.
        Manny: Ooooooooh the monkey's got it in the tree. He brings it back, they all drink lemonade, the end!

      • Manny: And then there's the press intrusion.
        Bernard: The press! Will they be onto us?
        Manny: Bernard, they'll hound us! Like a pack of... hounds!
        Bernard: But I'm not doing anything! I'm just strolling up the beach with my discreetly pregnant Brazilian girlfriend.

      • Manny: And then there'll be all the houses - You'll be in your Mustique house. You'll think, "Oh no! Where's my designer underpants? Oh, they're in my Kong Hong house."
        Bernard: Oh no!

      • Manny: (about Bernard's "children's" story) I just have two teeny-weeny suggestions for changes.
        Bernard: Which are?
        Manny: Well... instead of... the er, academic and the journalist and the daughter. Erm, perhaps it could be about an... elephant?
        Bernard: An elephant?
        Manny: That's right.
        Bernard: I see. What's your other suggestion?
        Manny: Well, instead of the Stalinist purges and the divorce and the investigation, erm, it could be about... losing a balloon.

      • Bernard: All right. Let's just, you know, get some ideas bouncing around. Sort of go crazy... no rules...
        Manny: Yeah. Sort of anything goes.
        Bernard: (Yelling) No, not anything goes!! I said NO RULES!

      • Fran: It'll be great! Claire, Becky, Tanya; all the old school gang back together.
        Bernard: I thought you hated school. You had a terrible time.
        Fran: I never said that.
        Bernard: You didn't have to say anything. I just look at your life now and work backwards.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)