Black Books

The show begins with Manny attempting to get into Black Books, failing, and going into Nifty Gifty and speaking to Fran, who doesn't seem to recognise him. Eventually Fran realises that while she's crossed paths with Manny, she doesn't actually know him from anywhere.

Manny enters the now open shop, finding Bernard lying asleep on a leather chair, with an unlit cigarette draping from his mouth. Bernard awakens, with no idea who Manny is. He can't remember, because he offered Manny the job while extremely drunk the night before.

Manny recalls the previous night, where Bernard interviewed Manny while incredibly intoxicated.

After his initial shock at being awake at half-ten in the morning, Bernard tries to talk Manny out of working for him by telling him he doesn't have what it takes to sell books, but Manny will not be deterred.

Bernard decides to give Manny a one day trial. Manny's phone then rings, and Manny gets a pain in his ear. He explains to Bernard that whenever his phone rings he gets a very sharp pain in his head because he used to work with phones a lot and it must have caused him some damage. Bernard takes down his phone number and proceeds to dial his mobile phone, taking great relish in the pain it causes Manny.

Manny then reads the rules from the chalkboard in Black Books. However, most of them are unreadable. Bernard then discloses to Manny that his middle name is Ludwig, Manny wonders why his parents named him that, but looks over at Bernard and realises his appearance is much like Beethoven.


Bernard then goes to 'freshen up'. This involves having his face soaked by a shower while dressed.

Bernard returns to the customer, angry and shocked to see a customer browsing the books. He demands 'lunch' and 'Fran'. Fran then enters, carrying 3 wine glasses and their liquid lunch.

Bernard is shocked when Manny says his shop isn't lovely, claiming that it is. The ailments of Black Books are: molluscs on the pipes, a sticky floor and the rising smell coming from the cracked floor, unwaxed shelves and a lack of lamps. Bernard suggests that Manny is gay, but he claims he isn't. His reason for suggesting Manny is gay is because he's interested in lamps.

Fran shows Manny into Bernard's spare room while he is dealing with the customer at the door. Bernard is furious. Fran's reason is because he might want him living with him all the time. Bernard says he's trouble, telling desperate lies to convince Fran not to find Manny likable.

Manny comes back downstairs, and Bernard tells him that so far in his trial, he's fired. So it's not going so well. Bernard instantly re-employs Manny when he sees that he bought a bottle of wine to celebrate whether the day went well.

Next we see Manny sitting at the desk chair reading through Bernard's 'accounts'. Bernard's account is a big book full of drawing and squiggles, with no accounts in the pages at all.



Bernard then displays his absolute lack of hygiene, as if we couldn't already tell from his poor shower and filthy clothes and hair. While in his chair, he urinates into the bathroom and into the toilet from a gap of at least a metre, while customers are in the shop and while reading a book.

Manny asks Bernard if he and Fran had ever had sex. He answer that yes they have, that he thinks so but isn't sure. He explains that a few years ago on New Year's Eve they woke up together naked, but he doesn't remember if they had sex.

After destroying an annoying student's mobile phone, Bernard bets Manny that he can't sell a book to a gentleman who just entered the shop, as he claims that customers in a book shop want to be left alone and not hounded by the employees. Manny accepts and attempts to talk to the man.


As Manny approaches, the man bellows at Manny, having a strong dislike for salespeople.

Later we see Bernard wearing a mass of clothes, claiming he has to take them to Oxfam for donation. As he leaves, he allows Manny to work in the shop while he is out, instead of locking up.


As soon as Bernard leaves, a flood of customers pour into the shop, buying tonnes of book and emptying most of the shop.

Bernard is outraged that Manny sold all the books, expressing deep hatred of the book ordering place. As he calls, he has extreme difficulty with the person on the phone and is unable to communicate or understand them at all. Manny steps in and orders an array of books to restock the shop.

After the call, Bernard discusses Manny's day with him. Because Manny sold a lot of books, and got along with the customers, he fires Manny, stating that his bookshop isn't "that sort of operation".

Manny goes next door to Fran to say goodbye, as Bernard fired him. Fran is furious, as she likes Manny. She starts throwing books at Bernard, and demands by force that Manny be re-employed at the shop.


A beaten Bernard gives Manny his job back. Bernard gets his revenge, by dialing Manny's mobile phone.