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Fran: Unless they go in the next hour, I'm going to tell your mother that I'm a psycho-biker-junkie whore.
Manny: It's just for the weekend!
Bernard: NO! Not another hour, not another minute. I'm about to stop playing "Who shall I kill first?" in my head and just go for what feels natural. I think I'll start with me... then it's you.
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Manny: I heard once that squid can sometimes survive the cooking process... and wake up in your stomach and strangle your heart.
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Bernard: (to Manny) But it's not my problem! It's my house though and I'm not having it infected with the kind of specimens capable of producing you.
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Fran: (points to answering machine) Oh, look you've got a message!
Bernard: No! Don't touch that! That light means the machine needs more salt.
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Moo-Pa: Shop's still called Black Books, I see?
Bernard: Yeah. I was gonna call it World Of Tights, but you know how stupid people are, you have to spell everything out.
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Bernard: (about Manny) He looks like a horse in a man costume.