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Black Books

The Big Lock-Out

Season 1, Episode 5, Aired Oct 27, 2000

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Trivia
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Quotes
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- Bernard: (after finding out the shop had been robbed) So, what did you tell them? They got in through the back? Manny: Yeah. Bernard: Yeah, it wouldn't do to let them know that we went out and you left the front door open, would it? Manny: Yeah, well, what sort of world is it that you can't go away and leave the front door open without getting robbed? Bernard: It's this sort of world, Gandalf!
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- Bernard: (to cashier) Excuse me, there seems to be some mistake. I bought some popcorn and a drink and now I have no money left. Cashier: That's how much it costs. Bernard: What is it, magic popcorn? Does it produce some kind of dizzying high?
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- Manny: That was the last film you went to see? Planet of the Apes? Bernard: Yeah. Amazing effects, you know. You really believed that monkeys could have meetings.
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- Bernard: (showing off his new drink to Manny) We've found something new. Absinthe, you know... that slogan "The Drink That Makes You Want To Kill Yourself Instantly."
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- Fran: Oh, yeah, Bernard... something came... up. I'm so so sorry. Umm what did you do? Bernard: Oh just my usual night out, you know. Went to see an experimental film where nothing happened for two hours. Hung out with a pornographer. Got a job in a burger bar. You know, the usual.
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- Bernard: Does the... umm... Mamba Burger... come with zesty cheese? Cashier boy: No. Bernard: Ok, uhh, then could I have some... Hunky Dunkers. With barbecue Hunky Dunky dip. And a... Mucky Chocolate Milkshake. Cashier boy: What size? Small, medium, goliath or god?
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- Manny: Do you think I should wash my beard? Bernard: I think you should wash it, yeah. Then shave it off, nail it to a frisbee, and fling it over a rainbow.
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- Bernard: (thinking) You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
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- Security Man: I'm normally asked to install this system in zoos. The glass is soundproof. Manny: Why do you need soundproofing in zoos? Security Man: Well, otherwise, the kids start calling the lions pricks. Manny: Oh right. Security Man: It's a very good system. You know the CIA? Manny: Yeah. Security Man: They don't use this system. Uhh, they probably use something a lot better.
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- Manny: (to Bernard) I ate all your bees.
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Notes
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- The Security system man (played by Nick Frost) is called Leslie Girder in the script, though he is never named in the episode or in the credits. Tamsin Greig and Dylan Moran mention this in the commentary for the episode.
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Allusions
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- Gandalf In this episode, Bernard calls Manny by the name, "Gandalf". Gandalf is a fictional character from the book series and film franchise, "Lord of the Rings". Like Manny, Gandalf has a long beard.
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