Season 4 Episode 5

General Hospital

Aired Wednesday 9:30 PM Oct 26, 1989 on BBC



  • Trivia

    • When Nurse Mary is sent out to get shot, Melchett never actually call the firing squad, but still George is seeing the nurse led out to the squad.

    • Private Baldrick's failure to grasp the concept of I-Spy is a little similar to a scene in Season 3's 'Ink and Incapability,' where his Regency ancestor attempts to define words for Blackadder's attempt to rewrite the English dictionary.

  • Quotes

    • Blackadder: I then leapt on the opportunity to test you. I asked if he'd been to one of the great universities: Oxford, Cambridge, or Hull.
      Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Well?
      Blackadder: You failed to spot that only two of those are great universities!
      Nurse Fletcher-Brown: You swine!
      Melchett: That's right! Oxford's a complete dump!

    • General Melchett: If there's one thing I've learnt in the army, it's never ignore a pooh-pooh!

    • Darling: Look, I'm as British as Queen Victoria.
      Blackadder: (furiously) So your father's German, you're half German and you married a German?
      Darling:(crying) No! No! Look, for God's sake, I'm not a German spy!
      Blackadder: (calmly; politely) Good. Thanks very much. Send in the next man, would you?

    • Blackadder: What is the colour of the Queen of England's favourite hat?
      Darling: How the hell should I know?!
      Blackadder: (completely deadpan) I see…Well, let me ask you another question. What is the name of the German head of state?
      Darling: Well, Kaiser Wilhelm, obviously.
      Blackadder: (furiously) So you're on first name terms with the kaiser, are you?

    • Nurse Mary: Ah, Captain. I hope you're going to conduct yourself with a little more decorum this time.
      Blackadder: No, I'm going to conduct myself with no decorum. Shove off!

    • General Melchett: You look surprised, Blackadder.
      Blackadder: I certainly am, sir. I didn't realise we had any battle plans.
      General Melchett: Well, of course we have! How else do you think the battles are directed?
      Blackadder: Our battles are directed, sir?
      General Melchett: Well, of course they are, Blackadder, directed according to the Grand Plan.
      Blackadder: Would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until everyone's dead except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig and their tortoise, Alan?
      General Melchett: Great Scott! Even you know it!

    • Blackadder: I lost closer friends than "darling Georgie" the last time I was deloused.

    • Blackadder: (about George) Alright. Where is the malingering git?

    • Blackadder: I spy with my bored little eye something beginning with "T".
      Baldrick: Breakfast.
      Blackadder: > What??
      Baldrick: My breakfast always begins with tea. Then I have a little sausage, then a egg with some little soldiers.
      Blackadder: Baldrick, when I said it begins with "T", I was talking about a letter.
      Baldrick: Nah - it never begins with a letter. The postman doesn't come till 10.30.
      Blackadder: I can't go on with this. George, take over.
      George: All right, sir. Umm… I spy with my little eye something beginning with "R"
      Baldrick: Army.
      Blackadder: For God's sake, Baldrick. Army starts with an "A". He's looking for something that starts with an "R". Rrrrrrr.
      Baldrick: Motorbike
      Blackadder: What?
      Baldrick: Well, a motorbike starts with an rrrrm rrrrm rrrrm.
      Blackadder: Right, right, right. My turn again. What begins with "Come here" and ends in "Ow"?
      Baldrick: I don't know.
      Blackadder: Come here.
      (Blackadder punches Baldrick in the face)
      Baldrick: Ow!

    • Nurse Mary: When this war is over, do you think we might get to know each other a little better?
      Blackadder: Yes, why not? When this madness has finished, perhaps we could go cycling together. Take a trip down to the old Swan at Henley and go for a walk in the woods.
      Nurse Mary: Yes. Or we could just do it right now on the desk.
      Blackadder: Yeah, okay.

    • Darling: You'll regret this Blackadder. You'd better find the real spy or I'll make it very hard for you.
      Blackadder: Please, Darling. There are ladies present.

    • George: Smithy, you haven't seen any suspicious characters hanging around have you, who might be German spies?
      Brigadier Smith: Nein.
      George: Nine! Well, the Cap's got his work cut out, then.

    • George: I hear with my little ear, something beginning with B.
      Blackadder: What?
      George: Bomb.
      Blackadder: I can't hear a bomb.
      George: Listen very carefully.
      Blackadder: Oh, yes.
      (room explodes)

    • Capt. Blackadder: Can anyone tell me what's going on?
      Capt. Darling: Security, Blackadder.
      Capt. Blackadder: Security?
      Gen. Melchett: "Security" isn't a dirty word, Blackadder. "Crevice" is a dirty word, but "security" isn't.
      Capt. Blackadder: So in the name of security, sir, everyone who enters the room has to have his bottom fondled by (indicating Capt. Darling) this drooling pervert.
      Capt. Darling: I'm only doing my job Blackadder.
      Capt. Blackadder: Oh, well, how lucky you are then that your job is also your hobby.
      Gen. Melchett: Now there's another dirty word, "Job".

  • Notes

  • Allusions