Season 2 Episode 4


Aired Wednesday 9:30 PM Feb 05, 1986 on BBC
out of 10
User Rating
70 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

The Queen hampers Blackadder's efforts to raise cash to pay off a debt to a sadistic bishop.

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  • "What's that bulge in your tights?"

    O.M.G! I laughed so much I almost split my sides. Classic scenes for me: Edmund and Baldrick at the docks trying to turn tricks to earn money. And Edmond, after being asked how much he charged for a good, hard shag, stating "a thousand pounds" - and returning home with sixpence! Percy vowing to discover the secret of alchemy - namely making gold (despite the fact that the secret has long evaded the finest brains in history). Queenie asking Edmund what that bulge is in his tights and then identifying it, accurately, as looking like 'just over a thousand pounds'. There is so much wrong about this episode (the PC brigade no doubt had kittens when it was aired) but I loved it!moreless
  • "A nugget of purest green..."

    This episode is perfect. I just love Percy in this, as he tries to perfect the art of alchemy - and ends up making a green splodge. It's the funniest thing and a classic moment.

    Also, the baby-eating bishop - a very disturbing man, but still very funny.

    This episode is pure brilliance, as usual and just so funny - I loved it!
  • What could be funnier than Blackadder trying to make money? Percy and Baldrick trying to help him!!

    This episode was a great episode to be sure. Blackadder trying to make money, only to have him lose it in a bet he had no idea about. My favourite part of the episode would be a moment I would have to classify as one of my favourite Blackadder moments of all time, Percy making "green." It's hilarious watching him show Blackadder the green. You can just see that Percy thinks it has some value. And then the brooch he makes out of his green was good (and funny because Blackadder says it looks like he sneezed on himself.) It had a good cunning plan to finish off the episode that ranks in my top 5 Blackadder episodes.moreless
Ronald Lacey

Ronald Lacey

Bishop of Bath & Wells

Guest Star

Cassie Stuart

Cassie Stuart


Guest Star

Lesley Nicol

Lesley Nicol

Mrs. Pants

Guest Star

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

    • End Credit Lyrics:
      Take heed the moral of this tale
      Be not a borrower or lender;
      And if your finances do fail
      Make sure your banker's not a bender.

      Blackadder, Blackadder,
      He trusted in the Church.
      Blackadder, Blackadder,
      It left him in the lurch.

      Blackadder, Blackadder,
      His life was almost done.
      Blackadder, Blackadder,
      Who gives a toss? No one.

    • during the first meeting with the queen in this episode the boom mike can be seen at the top of the screen a few times

  • QUOTES (11)

    • Baldrick: Have you got a plan, my lord?
      Edmund: Yes, I have, and it's so cunning, you could brush your teeth with it! All I need is some feathers, a dress, some oils, an easel, some sleeping draught, lots of paper, a prostitute and the best portrait painter in England!
      Baldrick: I'll get them right away, my lord!

    • (Edmund is trying to sell the house)
      Mrs: What about the privies?
      Edmund: When the master craftsman who created this home was looking at the sewage, he said to himself, "Romeo," for 'twas his name "Romeo, let's make them functional, and comfortable."
      Mr: Oh, well, that seems nice, doesn't it, dear!
      Edmund: I think we understand each other, sir. So it's sold, then. Drink?
      Mrs: What about the privies?
      Edmund: Well, what we're talking about in, erm, privy terms is the very latest in front-wall, fresh-air orifices, combined with a wide-capacity gutter installation below.
      Mrs: You mean you crap out of the window.
      Edmund: Yes!

    • (Talking about how poor Edmund is)
      Percy: What, do you mean you've been … fibbing?
      Edmund: Yep. My whole life has been a tissue of whoppers. I consider myself one of England's finest liars. (Edmund looks out the door) Oh, my god, Percy! A giant hummingbird is about to eat your hat and cloak!
      Percy: Oh no! (runs out)
      Edmund : (telling Baldrick) You see?! I'm terrific at it.
      Percy : (comes back) It seems to have gone now.

    • Baldrick: My Lord, there is someone at the door to see you.
      Edmund: Oh god. What time is it?
      Baldrick: Four o'clock.
      Edmund: Baldrick, I've told you before: you mustn't let me sleep all day; this woman charges by the hour.
      Baldrick: No, My Lord, it's four o'clock in the morning.
      Edmund: Someone wants to see me at four in the morning? What is he, a giant lark?
      Baldrick: No, he's a priest.
      Edmund: Tell him I'm Jewish.

    • Mr. Pants: You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?
      Blackadder: No, not really. This is a different thing. It's spontaneous and it's called wit.

    • Blackadder: Baldrick, go forth into the streets and let it be known that Lord Blackadder wishes to sell his house. Percy … just go forth into the street.

    • Blackadder: I can not believe it! She drags me all the way from Billingsgate to Richmond to play about the weakest practical joke since Cardinal Woolsey got his knob out at Hampton Court and stood at the end of the passage pretending to be a door!

    • Lord Percy: Edmund! Oh Edmund! I've awaited your return.
      (He hugs Blackadder)
      Blackadder: And Thank God you did because I was just thinking: "My God, I die in twelve hours, what I really need now is a hug from a complete prat."

    • Bishop of Bath and Wells: You fiend! Never have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the church?

    • (to Baldrick about the prostitute sleeping next to him)
      Edmund: Baldrick, I'm delighted to introduce you to … I'm sorry; I've forgotten your name.
      Prostitute: Mollie.
      Edmund: Of course. Mollie. Baldrick, this is Mollie, a dear friend of mine.
      Mollie: I'm not dear. I'm very reasonable, actually, Baldrick. Most girls would charge an extra sixpence for all the horrible stuff he wants me to do.
      Edmund: Yes, alright, alright. Baldrick, this is Mollie, an inexpensive prostitute. Mollie, this is Baldrick, a pointless peasant.

    • Edmund: What you have discovered, if it has a name, is some… green.
      Percy: Ahhh, Edmund. Can it be true? That I hold here -- in my mortal hand -- a nugget of purest green?
      Edmund: Indeed you do, Percy. Except of course it's not really a nugget, is it? It's more of a splat.

  • NOTES (1)


    • The character of Poor Tom that is met in the graveyard is a reference to the fool in the Shakespearean play "King Lear". They both share the line 'Poor Tom's a-cold. Pity Poor Tom…'

    • Leonardo Acropolus is obviously a cheap reference to Leonardo Da Vinci.