Lord Melchett [ 2 ]/King Charles [ Specials ]/General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett [ 4 ]
Prince Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh
Queen Elizabeth I
as The Prince Regent George IV [ Christmas Special, series 3 ]/ Lieutenant the Honorable George Colthurst St. Banleigh [ series
Percy [ 1 & 2 ] /Captain Kevin Darling [ 4 ]
Nurse Mary Fletcher-Brown
When Nurse Mary is sent out to get shot, Melchett never actually call the firing squad, but still George is seeing the nurse led out to the squad.
Private Baldrick's failure to grasp the concept of I-Spy is a little similar to a scene in Season 3's 'Ink and Incapability,' where his Regency ancestor attempts to define words for Blackadder's attempt to rewrite the English dictionary.
Blackadder: I then leapt on the opportunity to test you. I asked if he'd been to one of the great universities: Oxford, Cambridge, or Hull.
Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Well?
Blackadder: You failed to spot that only two of those are great universities!
Nurse Fletcher-Brown: You swine!
Melchett: That's right! Oxford's a complete dump!
General Melchett: If there's one thing I've learnt in the army, it's never ignore a pooh-pooh!
Darling: Look, I'm as British as Queen Victoria.
Blackadder: (furiously) So your father's German, you're half German and you married a German?
Darling:(crying) No! No! Look, for God's sake, I'm not a German spy!
Blackadder: (calmly; politely) Good. Thanks very much. Send in the next man, would you?
Blackadder: What is the colour of the Queen of England's favourite hat?
Darling: How the hell should I know?!
Blackadder: (completely deadpan) I see…Well, let me ask you another question. What is the name of the German head of state?
Darling: Well, Kaiser Wilhelm, obviously.
Blackadder: (furiously) So you're on first name terms with the kaiser, are you?
Nurse Mary: Ah, Captain. I hope you're going to conduct yourself with a little more decorum this time.
Blackadder: No, I'm going to conduct myself with no decorum. Shove off!
General Melchett: You look surprised, Blackadder.
Blackadder: I certainly am, sir. I didn't realise we had any battle plans.
General Melchett: Well, of course we have! How else do you think the battles are directed?
Blackadder: Our battles are directed, sir?
General Melchett: Well, of course they are, Blackadder, directed according to the Grand Plan.
Blackadder: Would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until everyone's dead except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig and their tortoise, Alan?
General Melchett: Great Scott! Even you know it!
Blackadder: I lost closer friends than "darling Georgie" the last time I was deloused.
Blackadder: (about George) Alright. Where is the malingering git?
Blackadder: I spy with my bored little eye something beginning with "T".
Blackadder: > What??
Baldrick: My breakfast always begins with tea. Then I have a little sausage, then a egg with some little soldiers.
Blackadder: Baldrick, when I said it begins with "T", I was talking about a letter.
Baldrick: Nah - it never begins with a letter. The postman doesn't come till 10.30.
Blackadder: I can't go on with this. George, take over.
George: All right, sir. Umm… I spy with my little eye something beginning with "R"
Blackadder: For God's sake, Baldrick. Army starts with an "A". He's looking for something that starts with an "R". Rrrrrrr.
Baldrick: Well, a motorbike starts with an rrrrm rrrrm rrrrm.
Blackadder: Right, right, right. My turn again. What begins with "Come here" and ends in "Ow"?
Baldrick: I don't know.
Blackadder: Come here.
(Blackadder punches Baldrick in the face)
Nurse Mary: When this war is over, do you think we might get to know each other a little better?
Blackadder: Yes, why not? When this madness has finished, perhaps we could go cycling together. Take a trip down to the old Swan at Henley and go for a walk in the woods.
Nurse Mary: Yes. Or we could just do it right now on the desk.
Blackadder: Yeah, okay.
Darling: You'll regret this Blackadder. You'd better find the real spy or I'll make it very hard for you.
Blackadder: Please, Darling. There are ladies present.
George: Smithy, you haven't seen any suspicious characters hanging around have you, who might be German spies?
Brigadier Smith: Nein.
George: Nine! Well, the Cap's got his work cut out, then.
George: I hear with my little ear, something beginning with B.
Blackadder: I can't hear a bomb.
George: Listen very carefully.
Blackadder: Oh, yes.
Capt. Blackadder: Can anyone tell me what's going on?
Capt. Darling: Security, Blackadder.
Capt. Blackadder: Security?
Gen. Melchett: "Security" isn't a dirty word, Blackadder. "Crevice" is a dirty word, but "security" isn't.
Capt. Blackadder: So in the name of security, sir, everyone who enters the room has to have his bottom fondled by (indicating Capt. Darling) this drooling pervert.
Capt. Darling: I'm only doing my job Blackadder.
Capt. Blackadder: Oh, well, how lucky you are then that your job is also your hobby.
Gen. Melchett: Now there's another dirty word, "Job".
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