Bless This House

When Danny gets an A in English, Burt and Alice are understandably proud, but then they discover it was because of her school project -- corresponding with a pen pal who happens to be a mass murderer.

The Claytons have a problem with a neighbor that will not stop playing his stereo loudly.

After one pregnancy scare too many, Burt and Alice decide that one of them will have to undergo surgery.

It's a joyless Christmas at the Claytons' when Alice's mother Sheila arrives with unwanted advice on how to discipline Danny, leaving Burt to play referee for the feuding females.

Burt buys an expensive reclining chair from an obnoxious salesman.

Forced to choose between having a deranged neighbor of having "our house foreclosed on before we even make the first mortgage payment," the Claytons decide to rent out their new home.

Before moving into their new home, the Claytons trash their apartment to get back at their landlord. But unfortunately the new house isn't ready and their stuck in their old apartment, while the heat is on full blast and the water's cut off.

As the Claytons prepared to move into their new home, Lenny -- still feuding with his wife -- assumes he's coming along.

The Claytons resume their house hunting and also decide to get a new life-insurance policy, but Burt fears he won't pass the required physical exam.

Burt's dogged by a guilty conscience when he forgets to pick up Sean from school, so he tries to make amends by getting him a puppy.

Frustrated by her jerk of a teenage boss at her temporary job, Alice starts smoking again -- and catches Danny in the mall washroom with a pack of cigarettes; Burt tries to resist Vicki's amorous advances.

Burt has never been fond of his sister's boyfriend, and the latest one is no exception.

Alice and Burt are divided over whether to let 12-year-old Danny goes to the movies alone with Matthew.

Meanwhile, everyone's plans are stalled when the family car is stolen while Alice is at an ATM.

Ever-bickering Lenny and Phyllis hope to inject some romance into their marriage by tagging along for Burt and Alice's anniversary celebration.

In the pilot episode, the Claytons consider buying a house to move out of their dinky little apartment.

Meanwhile, Danny's best friend Jane is staying over (a lot),because as it is soon revealed her mother is sleeping around.