Blue Collar TV

Season 1 Episode 16


Aired Unknown Dec 10, 2004 on The WB
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Episode Summary

Larry shows Children the "true" meaning of Christmas, using a politically correct fairy tale. Ronnie and Blake try to teach Dooley to walk -- to save Christmas. The Tackett family realizes that there is no where else like the mobile home for the holidays.

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (4)

    • Tina: Everthing looks so happy, the Harrisons are going to love it!
      Papaw: Who's the Harrisons?
      Terry: Last month, during the tornado, remember the house that flew over our house?
      Papaw: Yes.
      Terry: That's the Harrisons.

    • Larry - They are now trying to politically correct up Christmas Stories so that they don't offend nobody and that everybody everywhere can enjoy them. So this is a story thta was formerly known as "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" but is now known as "'Twas The Night Before a Non-Denominational Winter Holiday". A-hem...

      'Twas the night before a non-denominational winter holiday,

      and all through the house,

      not a creature was stirring,

      not even a mouse.

      The neutral gift sacks were hung by the chimney with care

      In hopes that a non-specific holiday figure would be soon be there.

      Children of every race, creed, and nationality,

      Were nestled snug in their beds,

      While visions of sugar-free plums,

      Danced in their heads.

      When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,

      I got out of bed to see what was the matter.

      (And to find out who was violating the neighborhood sound level ordinance!)

      But what to my wondering eyes did appear?

      But an emissions-free vehicle,

      And 8 sized-challenged reindeer.

      Holiday figure was so lively and quick

      I knew in a moment it must figure.

      He had a broad but normal face

      And an advanced sized belly,

      And he laughed: Lady of Evening! Lady of the Evening! Lady of the Evening!

      Larry - Now can you believe that? What in the world -- you can't even say "Ho! Ho! Ho!" anymore?! What kind of commie crap is this? I don't care who you are his name is Santy Clause and he cracks deer with a horsewhip, breaks into people's houses, drinks rum and eggnog, and looks like Uncle Jessie from "The Dukes of Hazard"...end of story!

    • Tina: You're all going to the football game? It's Christmas morning and we haven't opened presents yet!
      Terry: You're right, Tina. (Runs toward the Christmas tree and throws out to everybody presents.) Oh, look! I got a tie.
      Papaw: A pocketknife? Cool!
      Lloyd: Look! Tina got a necklace!
      Tina: Give me that!

    • Tina: ...and this is my beautiful daughter, Maude.
      Maude: BLOW IT OUT YOUR BUTT, LADY! (Hands Tina the empty eggnog cup and passes out.)
      Tina: (sniffs the cup) There's booze in this! Who spiked the eggnog?!
      Papaw: That'd be me! Can I go now?

  • NOTES (0)