Bones

Lucky: The Ambassadora is a place where people come to indulge in pony play fantasy twenty-four hours a day without fear of judgment. Mr. Ed is a pony. Booth: (looking at Brennan) Is this some kind of a sex thing? Brennan: How'd you get there so quickly? Booth: The man said "fantasy," I just took a leap.

Cam: Read the Stanford University study. It's not a party trick. Angela: You read that? Cam: And I've been hypnotized. Angela: Why? Cam: I was in Vegas. I got called up on stage and apparently I clucked like a chicken in front of three thousand people, but I have absolutely no memory of it. Angela: Was this little episode in the Stanford study? Cam: No, but it should have been. For the next three days every time someone said "coffee" I'd cluck. Awkward... Angela: Okay, why am I not feeling better about this?

Cam: Guys, contents of the victim's stomach are corn, raw oats, and dried molasses... Booth: Horse food? Cam: FYI, there's such a thing as too much fiber.

Cam: Trauma to the forehead... Booth: Eyes full of maggots and all you see is the boo-boo on the forehead.

Hodgins: (holding two melons) What's going on? Angela: You first. Hodgins: (teasingly tossing a melon) Cantaloupes. Zack and I need them for an experiment. Angela: Of course you do.

Booth: Hey. Brennan: Hay...is for horses. Booth: (chuckling) Hey, that's funny, Bones. Brennan: I found it on this website about horses. Booth: Yeah? Brennan: Where do horses stay...in a hotel? Booth: Bridle suite. Brennan: That's correct.

Bones: Whoa! You are strong! Booth: Oh, you know, I try to stay in shape, (mimics Bones' threat) "Stop or I'll kick you in the testicles?" Bones: It worked Booth: Tell you what, you and me, we're gonna work on the cop talk.

Hodgins: You know we used to think things through together. Zack: I apologize, it's possible that my time in Iraq transformed me into a man of action. (Hodgins snickers) I'll watch out for that.

Bones: Why are you being so judgmental? Booth: When you turn someone into an object of sexual pleasure, it's wrong. Bones: How do you know? Booth: It says in the Bible. Bones: Does not. Booth: Then it got left out by mistake.

Hodgins: (to Zack) You suck all of the fun out of every moment of personal triumph!

Bones: Alright, I can draw inferences from multiple equine implications. Booth: What? Hodgins: She's going along with the horsey theme.

Booth: Here we are. All of us, basically alone, separate creatures just circling each other. All searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places, some, they just give up hope because in their mind they're thinking, "Oh, there's nobody out there for me." But all of us, we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while, every once in a while two people meet and there's that spark. And yes Bones, he's handsome and she's beautiful and maybe that's all they see at first, but making love? Making love, that's when two people become one. Brennan: (awestruck) It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space. Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close. Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics? Booth: Yeah, Bones, a miracle. Those people, role playing and their fetishes and their little sex games, it's crappy sex. You know, at least compared to the real thing. Brennan: (after looking at Booth thoughtfully for a while) You're right. Booth: Yeah, but - Wait a second, I just won that argument? Brennan: Yup. (They both smile)

Angela: I know about this hypnotism thing, I was a magician's assistant at a little gypsy carnival in Brazil. Cam: Now that's an opening line. Angela: Oh, Mysterio was really cute and I was younger then and, the whole being sawed in half thing was actually kinda hot. Cam: We were talking about hypnotism... Angela: Right.

Angela: What about you, you need anything? Cam: I am weighing human organs, not really your thing. Angela: Right. Okay.

Hodgins: (laughing) His name is Ed. (Cam and Booth start laughing too) Brennan: Why is that funny? Cam: As in a horse is a horse (Booth and Hodgins join in) of course of course. Booth: (to Brennan) The famous Mr. Ed? Brennan: Mr. Ed?

Hodgins: Angela is going to be hypnotized. Brennan: Why? Hodgins: She's going deep into her subconscious to remember her husband's name, so we can find him, divorce him, get married ourselves and live happily for all eternity. Brennan: You won't live for eternity.

Brennan: Trauma to the frontal bone would have been fatal. Cam: Yeah and tissue damage indicates some kind of blade. Brennan: So does bone damage. Cam: Dr. Brennan you aren't being competitive between flesh and bone are you? Brennan: It's possible.

(Brennan and Cam are digging in the leaves) Brennan: I got a foot. Cam: Me too. Booth: Find a third one and I'll be impressed.

Brennan: Why am I here? Cam: Dead guy, foul play, it's your main function. Brennan: With...bones, this is...very meaty. Cam: No there's a bit of bone here, and there (pointing at the dead body).

Cam: Did you get anything out of the boy who found him? Booth: The only thing that came out of that kid was vomit. Brennan: That would explain the pervasive smell.

Brennan: (looking at the murder victim) This is all flesh. Why did you call me in on this? Booth: Wasn't me! Camille: It was me. Brennan: Why? Is it because you're trying to think of excuses to put Booth and me together on cases? Camille: I wouldn't do that, Dr. Brennan. Brennan: Well cause we've worked things out and we're fine. Right? Booth: (unsure) Yeah, a hundred percent.

Booth: What's this with all the lying? We've got voice tapes and public display of sexual paraphernalia? Brennan: I was role playing. I was being all lard ass and good cop. Booth: Hard ass and bad cop, Bones. Hard ass, and bad cop.

Brennan: Stop, or I'll kick you in the testicles!

Booth: Aristotle also thought that the purpose of the human heart was to solve math problems. Bones: I'm surprised you know that. Booth: Turns out I'm smarter than a 5th grader.

Bones: Giddy-up Booth: Yeah...um, do-don't say that.