Bones

Sweets: Can I ask you what's really going on between you? Max: Tempe doesn't want me working at the Jeffersonian. Sweets: Why? Brennan: It's a conflict of interest. We catch criminals, my dad is a criminal. Sweets: That would be valid ... Brennan: Thank you. Sweets: If it were your real reason, but it's not.

Booth: You don't think that I'm a lousy dad for not sending my son to private school? Sweets: No. But you'd be a lousy father if you didn't torture yourself about it.

Wendell Bray: (running up with a bone in his hands) Dead guy's hyoid. Bones: Guy as in sexually non-specific urban colloquialism, or in reference to the gender normally associated with a penis, Mr. Bray? Wendell Bray: Uh ... penis?

Booth: You know something, Bones? It's tough being a father. Bones: Parker will be fine, peer groups and random environmental factors are far more important than family. Booth: How is that a good thing?

Brennan: (to Sweets) I can understand quantum mechanics but I can't understand you.

Booth: (to Alexa King about a homework project) You paid a hundred bucks to somebody else to do it for you. Someone by the name of Dakota Shierkoff? Richard King: (shocked) Oh my God. Booth: Yeah, I think it's a stupid name too.

Brennan: Caroline should, charge her as an adult. Booth: She's eleven years old Bones. Brennan: Yeah well she's old enough to speak Chinese. Booth: Uh, they don't take that into account.

Booth: So did you persuade Cam to fire Max? Brennan: What you think my dad should be allowed to work at the Jeffersonian? Booth: What, you know she's just you know, trying to do you a favor. Brennan: Well, I didn't ask for a favor. Booth: Sometimes you don't need to ask.

Booth: (as Max walks in) How's it going there, Max? Max: That's the last day with my kids this afternoon. I'm toast. Booth: Cam fired you? Max: No, no, Tempe fired me. And don't tell me she hasn't got the authority because, believe me, I feel fired.

Booth: (watching Max do an experiment with Parker) Look at him - Parker's never liked science before. Brennan: So, you're still thinking of sending him to Woodbury? Booth: I torched the application. I'm thinking there's something to be said for middle class. (pauses) You sure he's gonna be all right? Brennan: Sure. Well, probably. Booth: Probably ... like, what do you mean, probably? What the hell they doing anyways? Brennan: Disrupting the surface tension of a two-liter cola. Booth: Right.

Bones: Assuming quality education, and adequate supervision parents are actually rather irrelevant beyond a certain age. Booth: You're kiddin' me. Bones: (looking over the private school information) Look at this - they start Latin in third grade. That's fantastic! Booth: No, you know what's more important than academic enrichment? A loving environment. You ask anyone. Bones: Parker is a wonderful child, Booth. You shouldn't feel inadequate. Booth: Yeah well I'm perfectly capable of raising my own kid. Bones: You're being defensive. Booth: I am not. Bones: It's because you only have one child; when you procreate in multiples, there's less pressure. Booth: Thank you. I feel, much better.

Hodgins: You know, your old man, he reminded me why I got into science. Bones: To catch murderers? Hodgins: No. To figure stuff out in amusing ways.

Booth: Don't fire Max. Let him keep his job. You know, he's a teacher he's not a janitor. Brennan: I can't ... overlook the sanctity of the forensic lab, Booth. Booth: Yeah. Maybe you can overlook it for me. Brennan: For you? Booth: Yeah. Personal favor. Brennan: Wh-like a partner thing? Booth: Partner thing. Brennan: I know you, Booth. You're trying to do me a favor by telling me it's a favor for you. Booth: No, uh-uh no. I can't afford that school. I can't enrich Parker, not with the science thing but, you can, Max can.

Max: Can I ask you a question? Booth: Sure. Max: You, are you uh ... are you sleeping with my daughter? Booth: (looks shocked) No. Max: Why? Are you gay? Booth: (whispers) No. Max: Is she not attractive enough? Booth: Bones is beautiful. Max: Is it because of me? Because I killed one man and, we both know he deserved it. Booth: All right, just cut it out Max, all right? I'll talk to her. Probably not gonna get anywhere with her but, I'll talk to her. Max: You're a good man, and I want that for her.