Bones

Booth: Right now I'm more worried about a safe distance between you and me. Brennan: Why? Booth: Why, because we're going to a church, and you tend to get blasphemous in churches. Brennan: Are you afraid that if God smites me with lightning that you could get hit? Booth: Yeah, since I would be standing right beside you. Brennan: The Greek God Zeus also used lightning to incinerate his enemies, although Zeus apparently had better aim than your God. Booth: Exactly, stuff like that. Just don't say stuff like that.

Booth: You know what it feels like to get your faith back? Bones: When I see effects and I'm unable to discern the cause, my faith in reason and consequences is shaken. Booth: Then what happens? Bones: Two plus two equals four. I put sugar in my coffee and it tastes sweet. The sun comes up because the world turns. These things are beautiful to me. There are mysteries I will never understand, but everywhere I look, I see proof that for every effect there is a corresponding cause, even if I can't see it. I find that reassuring. Booth: And life is good again. Bones: Life is very good. Booth: Yes, it is.

Cam: (about Arastoo) Do you want to work with someone who thinks you're the Great Satan? Hodgins: No, I don't want to be the Great Satan. I don't even want to be a minor demon. Want me to talk to him? Cam: Yes, but unfortunately, dopey interpersonal crap falls under my job description.

Brennan: (about the body with the horns) Preliminary findings, Mr. Vaziri? Arastoo: Victim is human, mostly. Cam: Oh, he's only half joking.

Dr. Copeland: I've listened to you take shots at my profession and, that's okay. I'm a big boy, a tolerant man, but I want you to think about something. I spend, every working hour of every day trying to help people who are living in Hell. That's an honorable way to spend a life. Perhaps more honorable than figuring out what happened to dead people who are already beyond pain and suffering. Bones: Intentions, however misguided, do count. I understand that. Dr. Copeland: I hope you won't think I'm too picky when I point out that that wasn't an actual apology. But perhaps it's the best you can manage.

Angela: I got an I.D. on our victim. Cam: Is his last name Lucifer? Hodgins: Can we please call him Hellboy until we find out otherwise? Angela: Well, we found out otherwise. (shows a computer image of the victim) Neil Lowery. Turns out Neil is the only missing guy with horns. Heh. Go figure. Bones: Where was his last known residence? Arastoo: I'm guessing Mr. Stephen King's basement.

Booth: (interrogating Lloyd) Why don't we start with the dorky martial arts stuff. Lloyd Robertson: Hey, nunchucks and shuriken aren't dorky, alright? They're weapons of a true master. Booth: You see, the fact that you just called it shuriken proves my dorky theory.

Hodgins: The accelerant was common motor oil, available at any gas station. Cam: Well at least it wasn't brimstone, available only from Hell.

Booth: I brought Sweets along so you know, he can sift through all the crazy-asses at the looney bin to see if any of them are homicidal. Sweets: I'm an excellent loony bin crazy-ass sifter.

Booth: What's going on here, are we going the right way? Brennan: Yes, all I had to say was (raises voice) 'Saint Dominic's Roman Catholic Church' into the, voice-activated GPS. Booth: (loudly) Car, could you please get us there a little faster? Brennan: No, the accelerator is not voice-activated, it's foot-activated, like a normal car. Booth: Okay. (smiles) Brennan: Oh, (laughs) you're joking. Booth: Yeah. Bones: That's funny.