Bones

Bones: Patrick Stephenson wasn't murdered, Patricia Ludmuller was. Booth: You think the moment Patricia Ludmuller came to exist, Patrick Stephenson stopped? Bones: When the butterfly emerges, does the caterpillar cease to exist? Booth: Okay, what are you, like some kind of kung fu master?

Bones: Okay, I'm a genius and I'm confused.

Booth: Do you think it means anything? She lived her life split in two, then, in death, split in two again. Brennan: No, I don't think it means anything. Booth: I didn't think you would.

Bones: What are you doing? Booth: I'm praying, keep your voice down! Bones: Sorry. You're not a member. Booth: It's not a gym, Bones.

Booth: Redemption through transformation. I get it. What do you believe in Bones? Bones: I believe in, always swimming with a buddy. Booth: What? Bones: You gather your wisdom, I gather mine.

Bones: I need a forensic anthropologist in the lab so I can spend my time aiming Agent Booth in the right direction. Booth: Aiming Agent Booth? Like a hose?

Vincent: The pelvic bone speaks. It says, "I be male." Cam: The pelvic bone can say whatever it wants to say, this part here (points) says female. Vincent: What part's that? Cam: It's called a vagina.

Hodgins: Does Brennan put "Mr." in front of your name? Vincent: Yes. Hodgins: It's her very subtle way of saying you're not a doctor.

Cecilia Stephenson: The boy donated his entire trust fund to the church. His father thought that we brainwashed him or some such nonsense. Brennan: Did you give the money back? Cecilia: The boy wasn't brainwashed Dr. Brennan - the Lord touched him. Booth: Exactly how much money did the Lord touch him for?

Vincent: Did you know that women blink, twice as often as men? Cam: Which might be useful information if the fish hadn't eaten our victim's eyelids.

Vincent: Can I ask you something? Hodgins: (groans) Is there any way to say "No"? Vincent: What ever happened to whoever it was who used to work here, before me? Hodgins: He joined forces with a serial killer who was the last in a long line of cannibalistic murderers specializing in knocking off members of secret societies and building skeletons out of their body parts. Vincent: Wow. I- I hope that doesn't happen to me. So, he's not coming back then? Hodgins: No, he's locked up for the rest of his life. But we all still like him.

Cam: What do you see, Mr. Nigel-Murray? Vincent: Eye sockets. Cam: Anything special about these sockets? Vincent: There are no eyeballs in them? Cam: We already have Agent Booth to make lame jokes let's, stick to facts. Vincent: The rods in the human eye are sensitive enough to detect the light emitted by a struck match from as much as a mile away - on a clear night. Cam: Okay, let's stick to relevant facts.

Booth: Would you like me better if I was a woman? Brennan: No I would not. Booth: Why? Brennan: I'd be jealous that you might be prettier than I am. Booth: I would be too. I'd be hot! Smokin' hot!