Bones

Ranger Sherman: Ever hear of the bone gatherers? Collecting bones so that the dead can make the journey to the next world? Brennan: I'm not even sure I believe in the next world. Ranger Sherman: Doesn't matter what you believe in. You're a bone gatherer. That's a good thing, helping the spirits move on. Brennan: Thank you. That's probably the best job description I'll ever get.

Denise: If I were your cannibal, would I have pointed out that there were human bones in the bear after the autopsy? Brennan: An autopsy on an animal is called a necropsy. Denise: Yeah, there's a reason I get all the guys and you don't.

(Booth and Brennan are in a car, Brennan is talking to Angela on the phone) Angela: So, did you catch the guy? Brennan: No, Booth lost him in the woods. Booth: Whoa, wait a second. I didn't lose him. Brennan: Well, you didn't catch him. Angela: So, you two have the night free? Brennan: Yes, we can't do anything until I get a determination on that meat and Booth has to wait until it's light to look for the guy he lost. Booth: I didn't lose him, okay? He - tell her that my flashlight died. Brennan: She doesn't care. Angela: What? Booth: Give me the phone. (He reaches for her cell but Brennan pushes his hand away.) Brennan: It's not safe to drive and talk on the cell phone. Angela: Are you two fighting? Booth: Professional pride. Tell her! Please tell her that. Brennan: Booth wants you to know that he lost the guy because his flashlight died. Booth: And because he's an Indian and he's a park ranger and he's very, very familiar with the territory. Tell her that. Brennan: (to Angela) Did you hear that? Angela: Yeah, something about Indian territory? Brennan: (to Booth) Yeah, she says she understands. (to Angela) I need to know about that meat as soon as possible. Angela: Yeah, I'll tell Zack. Booth: Give me the phone. (He grabs the phone away from a protesting Brennan.) Hold up. (to Angela) Plus, you know what? It wasn't even my flashlight, okay? It was the Sheriff's flashlight and his batteries, they ran out, okay? (Brennan snatches her phone back) Brennan: Goodnight Angela.

Brennan: You know, I'm gonna come back up here this winter. Charlie says the skiing is great. Booth: Oh, it's Charlie. Brennan: Yeah, the overnight guy. Booth: (laughs) Yeah, I know who he is. Brennan: I bet he's a great skier. His hips and thighs are perfectly developed for strength and maneuverability. Booth: (pushes his steak away, disgusted) Okay, I'm done. Brennan: (totally unaware) What? No good? Booth: (sulking) Puh. Brennan: Want some cornflakes? (trying to feed him the cornflakes) Want some?

(Booth and Brennan on the dancefloor) Booth: I thought you might need a break. Brennan: (looks at his shirt which is not buttoned up to the collar) What happened to your shirt? Booth: Well, we're in a bar. It's a look. Brennan: Everybody's pumping me. Booth: Sorry? Brennan: For information on the case. Booth: Bones, they're only pretending to be interested in the case. Brennan: Why? Booth: They're hitting on you. Brennan: Are you sure? Booth: Yes, I'm sure. You're the hottest thing this town has seen in a long time.

Booth: I tell you what. You can take me out to dinner, hm? Put me on your tab. Brennan: It doesn't seem ethical. Booth: You still want that gun now, don't you? Brennan: We'll start with breakfast.

Sheriff: Sherman--Ranger Rivers--traced the bear's route back a week. Said they didn't find anything. Booth: What is he, some kind of Indian scout? Sheriff: Sherman's a Flathead Indian, but since the bear was wearing a GPS collar, he didn't have to fully utilize his native powers.

Brennan: We don't just have a killer on our hands, we have a cannibal!

Angela: Oh, very pretty. Hodgins: Lovely. It's a sporocarp called tuber gibbosum after a week in bear poop. Angela: Thank you. For ruining my moment.

Charlie: Need a hand? (referring to Brennan holding a box containing a human hand) Brennan: Thanks, but I'm trying to get rid of this one, these are human remains.

Booth: Somebody was dismembered and fed to a bear?

Hodgins: (to Angela) If we were a Peruvian soccer team and crashed in the Andes, who would you rather eat? Me or Zack?

Zack: (to Hodgins) You bogarted my package.

Zack: I saw a documentary once where a bear got in a car and drove away. Hodgins: That was not a documentary. It was a cartoon.

Brennan: What took you to Guateamala? Ecotourism? Booth: I went down to shoot somebody through the heart from 1500 feet.

Booth: You know, it's beautiful here. It's feels good to be out of the city. Brennan: Yeah, where murderers feed their victims to bears.

Brennan: Leaving buttons on the trail. Must be an old fish chewer trick. Sheriff: You mean a snake eater. An old snake eater trick.

Brennan: Maybe the young man died and the missing girl, hungry and lost, came upon him needing food. She-- Sheriff: Sawed him up and barbequed him? Brennan: What? There's no evidence that the hand was cooked.

Sheriff: Have you ever? (points towards mouth) Brennan: I've never been offered human flesh before. Booth: Wait a minute. If you had? Brennan: It's an interesting question. I'd have to measure my own social inclination against scientific inquiry. Booth: Okay, that's sick.

Goodman: (to Brennan) The mosquitoes out there are the size of dogs. Pack insect repellent.

Brennan: Why is Booth the one who decides when we go to Washington state? He gets the gun and the authority, he's the one that people like. Goodman: Firstly, he didn't decide that you go to Washington state, he made a request. I am the one who decides where you do and do not go. Brennan: And secondly? Goodman: Secondly. It's time to live a little Temperance. Connect with other people. Brennan: Are you suggesting that I take this opportunity to have sex with Booth on a field trip? Goodman: Good God, where's Dr. Freud when you need him?

Booth: Just because you say it in that definitive tone, does not mean that it means anything to me.

Jack: I found boring dust. Angela: Is there any other kind?

Angela: Did you work all night? Jack: Yes. I shaved the truffle. Angela: Is that anything like spanking the monkey?

Angela: The skin in the scat has a sun on it. Sheriff: What is that, a haiku? Booth: It's a tattoo.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: She seems very friendly, your associate. Brennan: She's 3,000 miles away. Booth: Send away for a Russian bride.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: Can I help you? Bones: Yeah thanks, I'm with him. Sheriff Chris Scutter: Suddenly, I wish I was FBI.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: We see this kinda thing all the time, kids come up here, get baked, do their own version of the Blair Witch Project. Bones: I don't know what that means. Booth: Horror movie Bones, didn't make any sense. Sheriff Chris Scutter: Scary though with the bloody handprints.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: It's the Japanese right, they pay a fortune for the bear meat, think the gallbladders fix up their pecker troubles.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: I don't know if a wall of knives is evidence, but it sure is creepy.

Booth: You're a smart-ass, you know that? Brennan: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart; although, it has nothing to do with my ass.

Booth: Look, you're nuts okay? We get it. We don't need to hear the rambling psycho-speech on why you did it.

Bones: What if I have to shoot? What part of his body should I hit? Booth: The part that isn't me.

Goodman (To Bones): Come on now, you have partially-digested dismembered skeletal remains to examine. That should put a smile on your face.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: ... human legs taste like frog legs. Angela: So I have another reason never to eat frogs.

Angela: Somebody gnawed on this arm like some kind of . . . man corn?