Bones Season 2 Episode 14

Sully: Ready to go?
Brennan: Don't you want to take a shower?
Sully: Nah, I don't sweat that much.
Brennan: Won't you be uncomfortable at the restaurant?
Sully: It's a scuzzy bar. I'll be one of the best smellin' things there.

(Dr. Wyatt and Booth are in Booth's office eating.)
Booth: Hey Doc, what we're doing here, would that be considered therapy?
Dr. Wyatt: Oh, absolutely. Especially since I'm about to inquire whether you have experienced any outbursts of temper since I requested you alter your dress code.
Booth: Yeah, one of the squints, Hodgins, decided the rules, they didn't apply to him, he felt entitled, jeopardized my murder case.
Dr. Wyatt: Ah, and you confronted him physically?
Booth: Physical confrontation, that's my main skill.
Dr. Wyatt: Entitled you said. Is he a wealthy man?
Booth: Yeah, like the guy who got killed.
Dr. Wyatt: The murder victim, who tried to help a child and then died for it? And your ... squint?
Booth: Yes, squint.
Dr. Wyatt: Extraordinary. Your squint, tried to help a friend, so they both endeavored to do good.
Booth: With no clue the way things are.
Dr. Wyatt: The way things are as defined by a working class lad from Pittsburgh.
Booth: That's right, Pittsburgh. Where I'm from, alright? From the streets where you get a sense of how the world really is.

Dr. Wyatt: In point of fact it is therapy.
Booth: What? No! No, it's not. It's an evaluation.
Dr. Wyatt: I've already certified you as fit to carry a gun and go back to work.
Booth: Ok, then why are we meeting?
Dr. Wyatt: Well, because you discharged your weapon at an ice cream truck. My provisional certification of your mental health only holds as long as you continue to meet with me.
Booth: Great. For how long?
Dr. Wyatt: Till I'm satisfied that you won't start firing at confectioneries again. What's your objection to therapy?
Booth: You know what, Doc? I am not the kinda guy who has anything to hide.
Dr. Wyatt: Do you know? I often find that when people declare what they are not, it almost invariably turns out that's exactly what they are.
Booth: Great, then, you know what? No more declarations from me.

Booth: You now what? I did the belt buckle, I did the tie, I did the socks. What else do you want from me?
(Dr. Wyatt gives Booth a meaningful look)
Dr. Wyatt: What would you say if I told you that my name actually is Gordon Gordon Wyatt, that my first and middle names are the same?

Brennan: Why you call your psychiatrist "Gordon Gordon"?
Booth: That's how he introduces himself, y'know, "Hi, I'm Gordon, Gordon Wyatt".
Brennan: Like "James, James Bond"
Booth: "Bond. James Bond". Not James... Ja... Jam... whatever.

Caroline: Turns out Hodgins here had motive to kill the man himself!
Hodgins: Eight years ago, maybe. But not now. I've got Angela.

Hodgins: (handing Brennan an envelope) It's my letter of resignation.
Brennan: Your science was dead-on perfect. That's all I care about. I don't need your resignation.
(Hodgins hands letter to Cam. She accepts it.)
Brennan: He didn't actually tamper with evidence!
Cam: Dr. Hodgins endangered a case by hiding his relationship with a suspect.
Hodgins: I'm saving Dr. Saroyan the trouble of firing me.
Brennan: Well how much trouble is it? 'You're fired.' That's no trouble at all. A child could do it.
Cam: (to Hodgins) I appreciate it.

Gordon: Why don't we talk about the case you're working on at the moment?
Booth: Why?
Gordon: Well, I am trained as a forensic psychologist. I might be able to help.
Booth: Okay, fine, great. I have a dead rich guy, works with at-risk youth, gets brutally murdered after confiscating a couple pounds of heroin from one of his kids.
Gordon: Interesting that the first word you used to describe him is "rich".
Booth: Ah, second. The first description was dead.

Brennan: Wow, those socks! Those are amazing..
Booth: That's right, the socks, the tie, the belt buckle, all escape valves for my socio-economic rage.
Brennan: I hate psychology.
Booth: Oh, you know, they help me deal with the day to day irritations of dealing with people that are more privileged.
Brennan: (out of the blue) I slept with Sully last night.
Booth: (taken aback) Oh, I though you already, uh...
Brennan: No, last night.
Booth: (uncomfortably) Yeah, it's really none of my business.
Brennan: Except, we're partners...
Booth: Yeah, there's that.
Brennan: And you told me about your socks.
Booth: Sex, socks, pretty much the same word.
Brennan: Do we have a case, or are you just visiting?
Booth: Yeah, I'll fill you in on the way. It's messy, you better get some protection.
Brennan: Let me get my gum boots.(She leaves)
Booth: (Sighs) Yeah, I'm gonna need a flashier tie.

Brennan: I discovered something very interesting about cops and nicknames.
Angela: Anthropologically interesting?
Brennan: Anatomically interesting. They call the bald guy "Curly" and the fat guy "Tiny", it's ironic.
Angela: So when they call Sully "Peanut"...?
Brennan: He doesn't like to shower with the other guys because he diverges from the quantifiable, morphological norm.
(Brennan and Angela walk into the office where Booth is lounging)
Booth: What? What does that mean?
Brennan: (smiling) Stands out from a crowd.

Caroline: Listen up you people. The verdict is gonna come down any minute. Maybe we'll win. Maybe we'll lose. But this I do know, you people have got to get your sand together, you hear me? Booth and you scientist android brainiacs, you got somethin' very special, here. But you are losing it. (to Booth) Dropping serial killers off of balconies. And (to Angela) blabbing suspects' names to vengeful fathers. (to Cam) Cuttin' into heads before their times, gettin' poisoned. (to Zack) Gettin' blown up because you go grabbin' things you shouldn't have. (to Hodgins) Taking photographs from frames. (back to Booth) Getting a perfectly good car smashed to bits for NO good reason. (to all) Get it together! Start using your over-sized heads! This is the real world. Now, I know bug man here handed in his resignation. My official justice department recommendation is the following: we win the case, he gets his job back; we lose, Booth shoots him.

Brennan: Despite the fact that I have absolute faith in Dr. Hodgins' integrity and objectivity, in this instance, he was not involved.

Hodgins: I figure a guy like you, I resign, that puts things right between us. Do we need to discuss it past that?
Booth: What are we, girls? (to the waiter) A piece of pie for my friend.

Dr. Wyatt: We, all of us, have to overcome our upbringings, rich and poor alike. You know what? I'm gonna ask you to go back to your bilious socks and your ostentatious ties and your provocative belt buckles.
Booth: Oh, you're saying if I wear flashy socks I'm gonna forgive Hodgins?
Dr. Wyatt: (laughs) Lord, I'm not sure I'm that good. Well, perhaps I am… hmm. (starts to walk away)
Booth: Oh hey Doc, Doc, Doc. Why is it that the belt buckle is provocative?
Dr. Wyatt: Oh, it's a modern day codpiece; forces the eye to the groin.

Angela: Wait, you still haven't slept together?
Brennan: I know the problem.
Angela: His religious upbringing?
Brennan: His penis.
Angela: What's wrong with it?
Brennan: Apparently it's small.
Angela: (laughing) Oh, well that maybe explains why he hasn't made any moves on you yet - he's insecure.
Brennan: So I should make the first move, right?
Angela: Yeah! Take Sully for a little test drive. Maybe he's got unlimited mileage. That'll make up for the fact he's a sub-compact.

Caroline: I already got no proof how the victim got hold of that heroin. Now you're saying I can't put Hodgins on the stand? Why?
Booth: You don't wanna know the answer to that.
Brennan: Why doesn't she wanna know?
Caroline: As the prosecutor in this case, I'm obliged to share everything I know with the defense.
Hodgins: Just because Clarissa Bancroft and I -
Caroline: Whoa! Goodnight.

Brennan: There are quite a number of ways that men judge their relative maleness with respect to other men.
Sully: Uh huh.
Brennan: Muscles, income, cars, attractive mates, tolerance to alcohol, hair loss, and of course the size of sexual organs ...
Sully: HO! Leave something for us to discuss at dinner.

Angela: Brennan! For once, can't you just pretend that you're the girl?
Brennan: Why is everyone so anxious for me to be a girl?

Sully: I am a mad sagger. I ... I wear my, my shorts very, very low.
Brennan: Okay ...
Sully: (laughs) You suck hugely at being a girl. Okay, okay anthropology, anthropology ... oh okay! Uh, think of it as a social ritual in which I impress you with my manly prowess during a game of basketball.

Brennan: Do you have therapy today?
Booth: It's not therapy.
Brennan: Well, you're seeing a psychiatrist.
Booth: Not for therapy. It's an official evaluation, okay?

Brennan: (Pointing to Booth's tie) What is that?
Booth: What's what?
Brennan: Your tie. It's staid.
Booth: Staid?
Brennan: Yeah like boring. It looks like J. Edgar Hoover picked it out.

Booth: Look, Gordon Gordon says that the, you know, the wild socks and fancy ties are just, you know, quiet rebellions helping me suppress other impulses.
Brennan: Isn't that good?
Booth: You'd think so but, you know, apparently all the other issues have to just rise to the top.

David Barron: Objection, assuming facts not in evidence.
Caroline: What do you mean? The defendant has every needle disease in the book, except HIV.
David Barron: Same objection. Plus Miss Julian seems to deeply desire to testify herself.
Caroline: Yes, I would like to testify, because then I'd know what answers I was getting.
Judge: Alright settle down. This is a murder trial, not a night at the Improv.

Booth: I bet this statue's worth more than my house.
Bones: You know, you should ask your therapist about your issues with rich people.
Camille: You're in therapy?
Bones: You've seen the socks.

Camille: You might want to tuck you pants into your sock, the flies get in everywhere. (Booth sighs) What, no cartoon characters on the socks?
Booth: Never had cartoon characters on the socks, they were just, um, never mind.