Bones

Cam: I just got off the phone with Hodgins, he's knee deep in compost. Zack: He must be happy. Cam: Happy as a pig in ... (trying not to be unprofessional) what pigs like to be in. Zack: A sty?

Hodgins: I put solar panels on my house, compact fluorescents in every socket, and still feel guilty when I use a paper napkin.

(Brennan finishes a call with Cam) Booth: Big news from the nerd posse?

Booth: Just saying the guy had a point. If pesticides are so bad for us, then how come people live longer now than they did before they, used pesticides? Brennan: You're oversimplifying an enormously complex issue. Booth: (laughs) Meaning you don't have a good answer.

(Cam walks into the lab as Hodgins is peering at a sample): Hodgins: Well, hello, my exotic princess. Cam: What a charmingly inappropriate greeting, Dr. Hodgins. Zack: I think he's talking to a bug. Cam: Well now I feel a bit rejected.

Hodgins: Has it occurred to either of you that this might be another victim in the Widow's Son case? Zack: Based on what? Hodgins: Because the victim was cooked, like an entree, same as that guy in Germany. Brennan: There's no evidence here to suggest cannibalism, no bite marks... Hodgins: No condiments...

Angela: Everybody should be missed. Hodgins: (to Angela) You are such an angel. (goes to kiss her) Cam: I will get a bucket of cold water I swear.

Booth: We used to use the local golf course. I remember taking Maryann Milano to the ninth hole sandtrap. She had long hair, all the way back to uh... Cam: (interrupts him) You are so going to regret telling this story.

Cam: These two were on a romantic encounter under the stars and literally tripped over the remains. Booth: (amused) Hah I'm guessing that killed the mood!

Brennan: Look at all the cars. I thought the VA hospital was closed. Booth: Well it is Bones, but I mean c'mon, it's the weekend, alright? An abandoned building surrounded by acres of, secluded land, huh? Use your imagination. Brennan: (looks confused) Booth: Teenagers, hormones... Brennan: You're saying they're here to fornicate. Booth: That's... nice image. Very uh, biblical.

Dr. Sweets: Like it or not Agent Booth, I'm the therapist in charge of this case, so I suggest we work in cooperation, rather than conflict. Brennan: I can cooperate. Dr. Sweets: Good. Agent Booth? Booth: I'm still gonna call you Sweets.

Booth: Let's boogie, Bones!

Brennan: (to Dr. Sweets) You don't know Booth, you don't know me. You have a limited view of us based on superficial data you've accumulated on a standardized questionnaire and a subjective analysis from talking to us that is not at all scientific, so back off! Dr. Sweets: Just trying to help. Brennan: What? By questioning his humanity? Booth: Ok, Bones, now you're going a little bit overboard. He's just a kid. Right? I mean the worst thing that's probably ever happened to him was he lost in Mortal Kombat. Dr. Sweets: Are you normally this protective of him, Dr. Brennan? Brennan: Well, we are partners. Our lives depend on being protective of each other. Dr. Sweets: And you feel the same way, Agent Booth? Booth: Sweets, I can only hope that one day you'll know what a real partnership is.

Dr. Sweets: You two are very close. That was evident in your superficial, standardized questionnaire and my unscientific observations. Booth: Yeah? Dr. Sweets: You complement each other. Booth: Huh, no. She never compliments me. Did you compliment me in the questionnaire? Brennan: Compl-e-ment. Not compl-i-ment, ple. He means that we complete each other. As a team. Booth: (slightly perplexed and embarrassed) Yah, right. Dr. Sweets: Now, we got a lot to work on, over the next few months. Brennan: Meaning we get to stay together? Dr. Sweets: Yes. Booth: (to Brennan) I'm sensing a but. Dr. Sweets: However... Brennan: (to Booth) The same as but.

Dr. Sweets: There is clearly a very deep emotional attachment between you two. Booth: We're just partners. Dr. Sweets: And why do you think I would have thought otherwise? Booth: Cause, you're 12. Brennan: Don't read into anything that Booth said. We're professionals, there's a line, that doesn't even need to be there. Booth: Not at all. I mean, if, uh, if there were no more murders I (hesitating) would probably not even see her. Brennan: Very true. Booth: (to Brennan) We might have coffee. Brennan: Probably not. Booth: (hurt) What? Brennan: (she turns to look at him) What? Booth: You wouldn't even have coffee with me? Brennan: Well, in your scenario we wouldn't even know each other because there are no murders. Booth: Were. I said no more murders. Brennan: Then, fine. We could have a coffee. So, that's clear, then. I mean, we'd have coffee. That's our relationship? Coffee? Booth: Yeah. (looking uncomfortable, to Dr. Sweets) Let's move on.

Dr. Sweets: Let's talk about conflict. When you guys argue how do you come to a resolution? Brennan: We don't argue. Dr. Sweets: Come on! Remember? (indicating his office) Zone of truth. Right here. Booth: Fine. We might, bicker a little bit, but that's not arguing. Brennan: Bicker? I don't bicker. Booth: No? What about the whole environmentalism thing? Brennan: That was a discussion. Booth: You pretty much told me my penis was gonna shrink if I didn't eat organic food. Brennan: That's not bickering, that's being a good friend. Booth: My penis is just fine, thank you.

Booth: I bet Sweets was picked on all through school. Brennan: And that's relevant now why? Booth: You're kidding me, right? Scrawny kid like that sees me coming, a former jock and he's thinking to himself "Time for a little payback," you know? Make him fill out all this stupid forms, threatens to take my partner away from me.

Booth: Hey, is that the test from Dr. Sweets? Brennan: Yes. Booth: Well what did you put for number seven? Because I put twelve to fifteen times a day and now I'm thinkin', I really misunderstood the question. Brennan: (hiding the test from him) We're not supposed to discuss our answers. Booth: Come on, Bones. Teacher's not in the room, let me see. Brennan: Is this how you got through school, Booth? Booth: No! Well, maybe algebra.

Booth: (to Brennan) Well, there's only one thing more fun than uh, therapy on a Saturday night...and that's a dead body.

(Booth and Brennan in his car with Angela in the backseat) Brennan: You're grasping at straws, Booth. We should wait for more information. Booth: Has to be somebody in the composting facility. Ah, they have pitch forks to turn the heaps, don't they? Brennan: Pitch forks are used on every farm in the area. Booth: But not bio-diesel, okay? The owner, Gavin, said he just replaces a fuel pump in his truck when he switched to bio-diesel. Brennan: One of the other farmers also said that he just switched and he has a key. He could have dumped the body in the middle of the night. Booth: I'm sorry, but whose side are you on here? (he raises his finger to stop her from answering) Ah, don't say the facts, because that just annoys me. (Angela is chuckling in the back) Brennan: You want us to base our actions on your gut, again? Booth: Yes. You have your shiny machines, I have my gut. Angela: Is it always like this when you two are together? (Booth and Brennan answer simultaneously) Brennan: Yes. Booth: No. Angela: It's kinda hot.