Bones

Angela: My heart isn't yours to claim. It's mine to give away. Hodgins: I get that. I mean what you're saying, not your heart. Angela: Idiot, you do get my heart.

Hodgins: How mad is she? Cam: Mad, mad, mad. Hodgins: I thought women liked it when we fought over them. Cam: Women is not an acceptable generalization.

Cate Pritchard: Portia Frampton. She's an American, as is her father, do you know her? Ian Wexler: Not all Americans know each other, Cate. There are quite a lot of them.

Brennan: (answering her phone) Brennan! Cam: Am I interrupting anything? Brennan: No I'm just helping Booth drive. Cam: Booth shouldn't be behind the wheel, he isn't adaptable. Booth: I'm Mr. Adaptable okay? The side mirror is the size of a thumbnail! Brennan: Well that is what happens when you rent a car the size of your thumb.

Brennan: You think I'm special? Booth: Of course I think you're special! Yes!

Booth: (as they walk past a suit of armor) Whoa! Look at this guy! Jamison: Er ... yes, sir. It dates to- please don't touch that, Agent Booth. Brennan: Late 1490's or early 1500's ... German design? Jamison: His Grace's ancestors fought for Henry VIII in France. Booth: (noticing the codpiece) Oh, geez, look at the size of this. That's one large cup. Probably to scare the sissy French. Brennan: Well, actually, Henry VIII started a trend of large codpieces because he had syphilis, so his penis was extremely sensitive to anything touching it. (Booth grimaces.) Jamison: His Grace favors the 'intimidate the enemy' version, should the topic arise.

Sweets: Angela? Angela: Here we go. Sweets: Angela, men are idiots. Seriously. Angela: Just to be clear, are you a man or a boy for the purposes of this conversation?

Angela: Hey Hodgins? Hodgins: Yea ... hey ... hi Angela. (Angela holds out her hand, Hodgins takes it, and they begin to walk away, leaving Cam behind.) Cam: Fine, I'll just ... pass this along with Booth and Dr. Brennan in England. You guys go ahead and ... security cameras people ... building's filled with security ... cameras.

Angela: ... until Grayson hands over signed divorce papers, I don't really need Hodgins seeing everyone gawking at him like he's some kind of god. Cam: But he is some kind of god. The best kind.

Angela: (after kissing Birimbau) That's the last bit of sugar you're ever gonna get from me. I want my divorce.

Brennan: Common sense says you don't, offend your partner for an hour of fun. Ian Wexler: An hour? What, one hour? You underestimate me Dr. Brennan.

Sweets: When I was ten, the kid next door had a Turtle Party Wagon. It's an- accessory for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures. Angela: Mm. Sweets: It's a toy. Anyway, I loved that Party Wagon. I wanted that Party Wagon. So I climbed the tree outside his bedroom window. But the tree had a fungus, and his dad was too cheap to hire an arborist. So unbeknownst to me, some of the branches were- were dead. Angela: (laughs) Lucky for you I, uh, I enjoy a convoluted story with my hot beverage. Sweets: I'm in the hospital. Broken arm, concussion. And the kid with the Party Wagon comes in. I confess everything. You know what he says? "I would have given it to you." Angela: Ah. He had a little gay crush on you. Sweets: He did? Angela: Mhm. Sweets: Oh man that explains a lot. Angela: But, I'm guessing that you have a different point to the story? Like, maybe I'm the Party Wagon? Sweets: No, you're the gay neighbor boy. Your love is the Party Wagon, Grayson is the tree, I'm Hodgins. Angela: Which brings us back to the point that all men are idiots. Sweets: See how I worked that? It's because I'm so good.

Booth: Okay, news bulletin for ya'. Bones, there is not a, guy in this country who wouldn't want to have sex with you. Probably half the gay men ... Brennan: Are you being nice about me, or awful about British men? Booth: Wexler is not special, you are.

Booth: A real butler would offer to take my hat. Butler: A real gentleman would be wearing a hat.

Booth: (getting out of the car) Geez. Gettin' out of this thing is like being born!

Booth: Wow! Nice castle! Brennan: No, castles were originally designed for military purposes to withstand attack. This ... is more properly called a palace.

Booth: (gets out of the car he's unsuccessfully trying to drive) God! I hate London, I hate England! I'm glad we had a revolution! Aaaa!

Sweets: (looks at Angela's husband) Oh my God, poor Hodgins, wow. (laughs) Look at that guy! He's just ... look at him!

Booth: This is the weakest coffee I've ever had! Brennan: Booth, that's tea.

Hodgins: Check it out, British slime. So much more proper than American slime.

Booth: Bones and I are the best crime solving team in America! Brennan: Well ... we're in England.

Brennan: Just, tell him he can have a gun. Pritchard: Well he can't! Booth: Well, as they say in America: hasta la vista baby! Pritchard Eh-wha-wh- Agent Booth, I will-I will do my utmost to get you a gun.

Ian: Penetrating trauma to the parietal bone. Brennan: (to Booth and Pritchard) Someone hit her on the head with a sharp object. Ian: You have to do that as well do you, translate for them? (Brennan nods) Booth: (to Pritchard) You have to deal with that too?

Inspector Pritchard: Well, the way we usually work is, I drag the bodies out of the Thames and you use your extraordinary capabilities to identify them. Booth: Bones, they're like the English version of me and you!

Ian: Inspector Pritchard meet, Dr. Brennan. Pritchard: Charming. Ian: She's exactly like me. Pritchard: Charming, tenacious, salacious, sophomoric, euphoric, noble, ignoble, fatuous, horrid, morbid, torpid, and tedious. Ian: Flattery will get you absolutely nowhere Cate.

Ian: (about Booth) Does your cowboy want to tag along? Brennan: Oh, please don't call him that. Ian: He'll find it insulting? Brennan: No, he'd love it.

Brennan: I'm keen as ketchup! Ian: Mustard. Keen as mustard.

Brennan: (to Ian) Over the last few days I have been warned, many times, to watch out for you. Ian: Warned? That sounds dangerous. (his phone starts ringing) Is it something along the lines of oh, "Look out for Ian Wexler, he's a young genius on the rise"? Brennan: How can you flirt with me while ignoring your phone? Ian: Well, I am a man of perspective. Besides, I find that if one ignores the thing long enough generally it stops ringing and then, later, at my leisure it will tell me what it wanted.

Booth: ... the boobies took me out for a beer last night. Brennan: Bobbies, they're called bobbies.

Brennan: Agent Booth is the intuitive humanist, while I am the logical empiricist. Although recently I have seen how ... destructive pure logic can be. My own assistant, the most ... brilliant young man I've ever met ... Booth: ... ended up a, a sidekick to a cannibalistic serial killer. Brennan: I-I haven't invited you to join me Booth, so you could take your seat.

Booth: Well you know without a gun I'm practically naked isn't that right Bones?