Bonkers

(the Masked Mugger is about to dump Bonkers out of a net onto the street several stories down) Bonkers: Yikes! I always thought I'd leave my mark on Hollywood, but I never thought it'd be this messy!

(Bonkers has put Lucky in a jail cell) Lucky: Bonkers! How...how-how long do I have to stay her? Bonkers: As long as you like. You're wife bailed you out half an hour ago.

Bonkers: Sorry, Lucky. I'm gonna have to throw the book at ya. Lucky: Fine. Bonkers: What's your preference, romance or sci-fi?

(Bonkers has Lucky in handcuffs after Zoom and Boom framed him) Lucky: Oh, Bonkers. Will you please stop this. I didn't do anything wrong. I was with you, remember? Bonkers: You're right! And that can mean only one thing... I was your accomplice! Lucky: No-no, you weren't! Bonkers: Alas, where did I go wrong? Lucky: You didn't! Bonkers: Toon cop to toon criminal. Lucky: To toon loudmouth. Bonkers: Was it my poor opinion? Lucky: No. Bonkers: The sugar in my cereal? Lucky: Bonkers... Bonkers: The starch in my socks? Lucky: The rocks in your head. Bonkers, you're acting ridiculous! Bonkers: You're right. I don't even wear socks.

(Zoom and Boom walk into Lucky's office) Lucky: You guys? When I get my hands on you, you'll make News at 11!

Lucky: Thanks to your buddies, Doom and Gloom...whatever their name is... I'm ruined! And you can forget about Cop of the Year! Bonkers: Yeah, but you said it yourself..."Being a cop isn't about winning awards, it's about catching the bad guys" and you did catch the Masked Mugger. Lucky: That's true. Yeah, I did, didn't I? Bonkers: Yep, too bad he escaped today. Lucky: Escaped?! The Masked Mugger escaped? Why didn't you tell me?
Bonkers: You didn't ask?

Lucky: I can't believe it. I wanted to be Cop of the Year and now I'm going to be Clown of the Year.

(Bonkers dressed Lucky up as a clown to make a little baby stop crying and the masked mugger taunts him so Lucky chases him) Lucky: Stop or I'll...(reaches in his pocket and pulls out a boquet of flowers) Pollinate you? Mugger: Oh boy, this guy needs help.

(Lucky climbs a tree to get a man's "kitty" out and finds out that it's a leapord and he falls out of the tree and the leapord hops on him and licks his face) Little Old Man: Oh, officer. I don't know how to thank you. Lucky: Get a smaller pet.

Bonkers: So, Lucky, when are you going to show them what a great crime fighter you are? Lucky: When there's a...(Boom is in the way and Lucky pushes him away) Get this thing out of the way... When there's a crime to fight, Bonkers. Look, this is real life. Crime just doesn't happen because the cameras are rolling, all right? (a masked mugger runs behind them followed by a little old lady) Little Old Lady: Help! Help! A mugger! A mugger! That masked mugger stole my purse!
Zoom: It's showtime!

(Bonkers is trying to get Lucky to agree to do a program with Zoom and Boom) Lucky: Forget it! I don't need any more toons following me around. Besides, TV makes you look ten pounds heavier.

Bonkers: The results are in! (holds up chart with a picture of Lucky on it) You're in the lead for Cop of the Year! See, you're way ahead! Toon Light: You're holding the chart wrong. Toon Typewriter: He's right, it's wrong. Toon Phone: As wrong as a wrong number. Bonkers: Oops. (flips chart over) So you're, uh, behind a little.

(Lucky turns off the TV with the remote and Bonkers pops up in it) Bonkers: Uh-uh-uh! Don't touch that dial! (Lucky drops the remote in his coffee and it splashes on him) Lucky: Ouch, ouch, ouch! Bonkers! Bonkers: Lucky, I got great news! You know, you ought to try dunking doughnuts in your coffee, they're a lot easier to digest.

Maury Danger: Chief, the big question on everyone's mind is, just who will be this year's Cop of the Year? Kanifky: Ooh, now that is something I'd like to know. Go ahead, whisper in my ear. I won't tell a soul.