Boston Legal

Season 3 Episode 3

Desperately Seeking Shirley

Aired Monday 10:00 PM Oct 03, 2006 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
128 votes

By Users

Write A Review

Episode Summary

Desperately Seeking Shirley
Alan shocks the firm when he decides to represent Ivan Tiggs, as he sues Shirley for creating an iron-clad post-nup in his marriage to Missy.

Meanwhile, Jeffrey Coho continues his unethical practices, determined to discover the truth behind the murder of Judge Hooper, and Denny Crane comes to an agreement with Bethany.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

No results found.
No results found.
No results found.
Tom Selleck

Tom Selleck

Ivan Tiggs

Guest Star

Tyler Labine

Tyler Labine

A.D.A. Jonathan Winant

Guest Star

Meredith Patterson

Meredith Patterson

Missy Tiggs

Guest Star

Constance Zimmer

Constance Zimmer

Claire Simms

Recurring Role

Ashton Holmes

Ashton Holmes

Scott Little

Recurring Role

Ron Canada

Ron Canada

Judge Willard Reese

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (19)

    • Alan: Shirley, the truth is I only took this case to be in court with you. I enjoy your company. So, if I can't join you on cases, I'll just have to oppose you. Or I could just oppose you right now against the wall. That would certainly make me happy.

    • Denny: Bethany, Brad'll be your point-man here, if you need anything go to him. If you're not satisfied... you come to me.

    • Shirley: Your Honor, Mr Tiggs has a history of ruining women's lives. There's one out there right now. It's going to take her years to get over this.
      Ivan: No, she'll get over me, she's like a goldfish. She has a three second memory.

    • Judge Reese: In my chambers.
      (Alan gets up)
      Judge Reese: Just Ms Schmidt and Mr Tiggs.
      Alan: Couldn't I come and just watch?
      Judge Reese: (He glares at Alan and speaks menacingly) No.

    • Denny: One meeting.
      Bethany: In these offices. I'll call it even.
      Denny: Not quite. One condition. Take off your clothes.
      Bethany: What!
      Denny: Oh come on. That was the initial plan. We hit it off, eventually... we get together, naked. Take off your clothes. Let me see that little package.
      Bethany: You are the most disgusting, vulgar human being I have ever met.
      Denny: You're right... Just the top then?

    • Denny: A meeting? Would I have to talk?
      Bethany: You're much more impressive when you don't.

    • Alan: Mr Tiggs did satisfy you didn't he?
      Shirley: I'm under oath. It wasn't his best work.

    • (About Judge Hooper)
      Denise: You sure it was the husband?
      Lincoln: I am. He drives some sort of little white convertible, in an attempt, I suppose, to seem interesting, which he's not. Not at all. He's a nasty little man. He made her get that restraining order against me. He made her do it.
      Denise: Well, you are a Peeping Tom.
      Lincoln: She liked that. She liked that I looked. I was a benign peepy.

    • (About Bethany suing Denny)
      Denny: What do you mean she won't drop it?
      Claire: She's hurt. My advice is if you really want this to go away, you have to apologize and this time make it heartfelt.
      Denny: Do you do that?
      Claire: Never.

    • Claire: You two spoke over the Internet for two weeks, divulging personal intimate details. You leave out the fact that you're under three feet tall. Do you think that's honest?
      Bethany: Look at him. Did I get Mel Gibson?
      (Denny makes a pose)
      Bethany: Maybe I did.

    • Claire: Okay, before we start, I want it on the record that I am very uncomfortable deposing a dwarf.
      Bethany: What's that supposed to mean?
      Claire: It means I'm uncomfortable. I don't need any victims rights groups picketing outside my condo. Not to mention the fact, you obviously have deep psychological issues to accept any date with a seventy-two year old man, let alone...
      (stares at Denny)
      Claire: Him.

    • (to Ivan)
      Shirley: What I can tell you is, there is no back door. That post-nup is as tight as your soon to be sixth ex-wife's tushy.

    • (about Ivan's wife, Missy)
      Ivan: God, I hate her.
      Shirley: Oh boy.
      Ivan: I tried this time. I want to love her. No, I do love her. She's just too much. Too much singing, too much sex. I'm not a young man anymore. And, well, there's the fact that she's stupid.

    • Jonathan: Let me tell you something right now. If you start to intimidate my witnesses...
      Jeffrey: Why yours? Do you have dibs?
      Jonathan: Is this the way you wanna play it? Fine.
      Jeffrey: Doesn't seem we can settle this with words. Maybe we should fight.
      (Judge Hooper and Jonathan stare at him)
      Jeffrey: Why does everyone in Boston just stare at me?

    • (about Gracie Jane)
      Paul: My God. We need to gag this woman.
      Denny: I did once. Best sexual experience of my life.

    • Jeffrey: The angry, bald little husband killed his wife... just like in the movies.

    • Shirley: (threatening) Your resume intact?
      Alan: Shirley, you're being retaliatory; it becomes you.

    • Alan: I'm a man of principle--or not--whatever the situation calls for.

    • Denny: Let the games begin small fry.

  • NOTES (3)

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Slovakia: October 19, 2010 on JOJ

    • Music:
      Slim Harpo - "Wonderin' and Worryin'"
      Toby Lightman - "My Sweet Song"

    • Another mini Star Trek reunion happened: Armin Shimmerman (ST DS9 Quark) and Ethan Phillips (ST Voy Neelix) guest star in this episode. It is also a reunion between Ethan Phillips and Rene Auberjonois, who co-starred together on "Benson" in the 1980's.

      It is also a reunion between Armin Shimerman and Rene Auberjonois, who played Quark and Odo on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.