Boston Legal

Season 5 Episode 2

Guardians and Gatekeepers

Aired Monday 10:00 PM Sep 29, 2008 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • [Warning, spoilers for final episode!]

      Alan and Denny's conversation on the balcony at the end of the episode, prefigures a lot of the events of the series finale:

      Alan You know, if we are thinking of it as our last year, we need to think of how best to go out.
      Denny Fishing for sure.
      Alan For sure.
      Denny Supreme Court, gotta go back.
      Alan Scalia misses me.
      Denny Of all the women I have loved, and been loved by, whoever would have believed that Alan Shore would be my prince charming.
      Alan Let no man tear asunder. Denny Till death do us part.

      (Following a return visit to the Supreme Court, Alan and Denny go to Nimmo Bay and are married, according to Massachusetts law, by Justice Scalia.)

  • Quotes

    • Shirley: (regarding Marlena) Surely, you think she should settle this case.
      Carl: Surely, I don't. Shirley.

    • Jerry: Mr. Palmer likes to say attacked. Attack's a nice word. Our troops attack, for example. Troops are good. Attack's a good word. Much better than, say, rape. Which is ugly. Which is what happened to my client.

    • Jerry: When we say for-profit, how much profit are we talking about?
      Melvin: Objection, relevance?
      Jerry: I'd simply like to explore whether the savings afforded them a better opportunity to, say, prevent the 15-year-olds from getting raped.
      Melvin: Objection, that's inflammatory!
      Jerry: Rapes are an inflammatory thing. Mel, don't you agree? Two pops for yes.
      Judge Atkinson: Mr. Espenson.
      Jerry: Sorry, Judge, I'm a chip off the old hoot. Exactly how much moolah do you make?
      Defendant: We made about $350 million this past year.
      Jerry: That's kind of a lot! Don't you agree, Mel? One pop, three if you love me.

    • Katie: What's really nauseating is he's good. They jury seem to be with him.
      Jerry: He's very good. But we'll get him. Wait 'til I get that defendant on the stand. He's muffin. (Katie looks at him quizzically) I mean toast.

    • Alan: Sue the drug company?
      Denny: They almost killed me, you heard the doctor.
      Alan: Even so.
      Denny: How 'bout I sue the one that markets 16 of the 42 prescriptions I was taking.
      Alan: Denny, the question would be how could they predict you'd eat them like jellybeans.
      Denny: Alan, have you seen the television ads?
      Alan: Yes, I've seen them.
      Denny: They list off the side-effects like they're reading the telephone book. The benefits get all the bells and whistles. They nearly killed me. I wanna sue. Let's get 'em.

    • Denny: Toxic shock?
      Dr. Harris: Your blood puts a lot of drugs in your system. How many medications are you on?
      Denny: I don't know, 30 or 40?
      Alan: What???
      Dr. Harris: 30 or 40?
      Shirley: My God!!!
      Denny: Is that a lot?
      Dr. Harris: Why are you taking them?
      Denny: I don't know. You name it. Acid reflux, weak stream, restless leg, hemorrhoids, irritable bowel, memory, cholesterol, blood pressure-
      Dr. Harris: Whoa whoa whoa. These drugs can interact.
      Denny: No, I keep them in separate bottles.
      Shirley: Do they make one for common sense?
      Dr. Harris: Where the hell are you getting your medical advice?
      Denny: Television.
      Alan: Television?
      Shirley: For God's sake, Denny!
      Denny: What? They wouldn't advertise if it wasn't safe.
      Dr. Harris: Mr. Crane, you very nearly died. You're lucky you didn't die.
      Denny: Really? Oops.

    • Katie: You're disgusting.
      Melvin: You know, Missy...I get that a lot. I'm actually okay with it, which is something you might consider. I mean, who wants to subject that poor girl to a disgusting lawyer who's willing to tear her up and do, perhaps, irreparable psychological damage. I certainly don't want that. Do you?

    • Mathis: I'm sorry. You did go to law school, right?
      Alan: Actually, I bought my degree on the internet. What's your point?

    • Shirley: Did you just call me a former suffragette?
      Marlena: ...Aren't you?
      Shirley: How old do you think I am?
      Marlena: I don't know, eighty?
      Shirley: Please, leave now. And take the window, it's faster.

    • Denny: Well, well, well, well, well. Yum.
      Marlena: Okay, serious ick.
      Shirley: Denny, you remember my granddaughter Marlena?
      Denny: Oh. Clearly, you're as hot as granny. Are you as nasty?

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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