Father Martin: Do you know the most oppressed religion in America today? Christianity.
Denny: Hear, hear.
Father Martin: It's Christmastime. You know Christmas has become verboten. You can't even say the word.
Rabbi Levine: Interesting. He speaks German.
Alan: Yes, we'd like to apply for a moustache … a m-marriage license.
Clerk: You two are getting married?
Alan: Is there a reason we shouldn't?
Denny: Other than maybe you and I should get together?
Alan: Denny …
Denny: We plan an open-door marriage. My card.
Clerk: You're heterosexual. Are you heterosexual?
Alan: Is that a problem? He completes me.
Shirley: The new management has decided to change the name of the firm.
Denny: To what?
Shirley: Let me just preface this by saying that personally, I want my name off the firm so … (chuckles)
Denny: To what?
Shirley: Chang, Poole and Schmidt.
Elisa Brooks: We've seen how pharmaceutical companies work. It's not about finding cures so much as it is finding markets., selling. If they get to peddle promising but untested drugs, we all know they'll do it. Drugs that engender false hopes, ones with higher profit margins if they get to skip the testing. Investors will pump their money into snake oils that dress up well. This is not a scrupulous industry, your honor.
Shirley: Would you forgive a bridezilla going a little nuts during her wedding week?
Alan: Contrary to the public's perception, I think, when asked, most judges and lawyers would say the reason they first went to law school was simply to help people. This man I love, my friend, desperately needs your help. I beg the nine of you to look within yourselves and revisit that question. Why did you go to law school? Why did you want to sit up there and wear that robe? Because today, this experimental drug isn't really Denny Crane's last, best hope, you are. You are.
Alan: I could just hug you, may I.
Justice Scalia: I'll have you jailed.
Alan: You know, I was a little hurt you danced with Shirley instead of …
Denny: Here we go.
Alan: I'm just saying.
Denny: Come on.
Alan: We did get married. I think a little attention is in order before your eye starts roving.
Denny: You wanted a dance?
Alan: I did.
Denny: Let's do it now.
Alan: No, the moment has passed.
Denny: No it hasn't. We're here now. We're in the moment.
Alan: I don't want a mercy dance.
Denny: Is this the way it's gonna be? Alan … our wedding dance.
Alan: Don't try anything funny, and I want to lead.
Latin America: December 29, 2009 on Canal FX.
This was the only season without Mark Valley (Brad).