Boston Legal Season 2 Episode 26

Denny: All right, why are you still miffed at me?
Alan: I'm not miffed, Denny.
Denny: You're miffed enough to ruin my meal. I thought being my plug-puller would be an honor.
Alan: It is. And I'm not saying I don't want to be the one to pull your plug. I just felt the way the whole package was presented to me was wrong.
Denny: I just told you to sign my document.
Alan. Exactly. With something as monumental as that, you don't just push a piece of paper in one's face. You discuss it first.
Denny: We've discussed it plenty of times. You said you would shoot me.
Alan: There's a difference between talking about it and signing a legal document.
Denny: You're a fricking lawyer for God's sake. That's what you do!
Alan: With others, yes. When it comes to my personal life, I don't actually sign contracts at the drop of a hat. When I say I'll do something, I do it, regardless of a piece of paper. And I expect people to hold me to my word.
Denny: What's the matter with you? People don't do that anymore. And you certainly can't expect the hospital to acknowledge your word.
Alan: In this case, I can see that.
Denny: Well, are you gonna sign the damn thing or not? Ok... I apologize. How about I ask you properly?
Alan: Ok.
Denny: Would you do me the honor of killing me?

Shirley: (about the wetsuit) How did you get into that thing, anyway?
Denny: A lot of vaseline and Chuck in word processing helped.
Shirley: Poor Chuck...

Denny: (wearing a wetsuit) Does this make me look fat?
Shirley: Yes. Wear heels.