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Jeffrey: I suppose we better work this out.
Brad: Does it have to be now?
Jeffrey: Well, it is the season. Peace on Earth...love for your fellow man....
Brad: Wait. What was that?
Jeffrey: "Love for your fellow man"?
Brad: No, before that.
Jeffrey: "Peace on Earth"?
Brad: Liberal. I knew it!
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Alan: I think we've just had our first three-way.
Denny: It didn't look like Shirley enjoyed it as much as we did. You know, she tasted differently than I remember....
Alan: (chuckles) That's because it was my slobber on her mouth, Denny. We've finally exchanged bodily fluids.
Denny: (quickly downs his glass of wine) Blech!
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White Supremacist Twins: (singing) Michael rowed the boat ashore...Hallelujah! Michael rowed the boat ashore....
Alan: You do know that Michael was a homosexual Jew from Mexico, right?
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Denise: (to Brad and Jeffrey, scoldingly) You're both partners! I'm not. So why am I the only one acting like an adult?
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Denny: Objection. Your Honor, she's being...objectionable!
Judge: Sustained.
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Alan: What's my motivation?
Shirley: Excuse me?
Alan: My character's motivation. Surely you can't expect me to simply jump in and take this case!
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Denny: Now, don't go knocking fat chicks! I love chubby-sex. (looks over at the female judge) I'm sure Your Honor does.
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"Pro-Ana" Lawyer: I guess we'll see each other in court.
Denny: (under his breath) Not if you turn sideways.
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Shirley: (to Alan) This was one of Edwin Poole's cases. Somehow it managed to slip through my cracks, so I was sure you'd find it especially tasty.