-
(After Bethany sneaks up on Denny again)
Denny: I gotta get that woman a pair of squeaky shoes.
-
Denny: She dumped you?
Alan: Well, I think we're looking for different things.
Denny: What are you looking for? A serious relationship?
Alan: Don't be silly. I'm already involved with you.
Denny: You're damn right.
-
Alan: (to Sally) When you just jump up and leave, it makes me feel cheap, devalued, skanky.
-
(Alan bumps into Barbara)
Alan: Hmm. Hello.
Barbara: Could you... excuse me please.
Alan: Have we met?
Barbara: No.
Alan: Would you like to meet?
(Denise walks up to Barbara)
Denise: Barbara, we need to prep your testimony.
Barbara: This man is hitting on me.
-
Claire: Did you know this, Lincoln Meyer was watching you?
Scott: She told me about him. How she had a restraining order against him. She thought he was sick. Pedophile or something.
(Lincoln stands)
Lincoln: Objection.
Judge Cooper: Mr Meyer...
-
Jeffrey: Denise, I... How engaged are you?
Denise: (pause) Very.
-
Jeffrey: Did Mrs Hooper have a crush on you? You told Claire Simms that. Something about transference. The victim had developed a crush on you.
Dr Simon: Transference sometimes occurs.
Jeffrey: Yeah, 'cause your kinda hard to resist, I bet.
-
(After Jeffrey objects)
Judge Cooper: I ask you, sir, to take your seat.
(Lincoln stands and claps his hands)
Lincoln: Atta boy, judgie boy.
Judge Cooper: Mr Meyer, your next interruption lands you in a jail cell.
Lincoln: (softly) So dramatic.
-
(About post-sex)
Denny: Wait a second, you want her to talk to you after.
Alan: Yes.
Denny: But that would make you the girl. (Alan laughs) I don't even like to talk to them before.
-
(After they had sex)
Sally: Your heart's good, right? You get yearly physicals?
Alan: You think you'd kill me?
Sally: Wouldn't look good on my resume.
-
Brad: Ask me, I don't think this Jeffrey Coho's all that hot.
Paul: Brad... You're threatened by him.
Brad: Oh, not threatened. Just that everybody makes him out to be this superstar and so far I'm not seeing it.
-
Lincoln: (to Jeffrey in the middle of a trial) That's what you get Mr Dirty Mouth. Mr Lawyer Man Dirty Pants.
Judge Cooper: Mr Meyer, sit down or I will have you removed.
-
Denny: I think I have Mad Penis.