Boston Legal Season 3 Episode 7

(Alan sees Melissa dancing with Brad)
Alan: Sally's gone, Melissa's gone.
(Alan looks slyly at Claire)
Claire: Forget it, horny toad.

Denny: See, that's why we're perceived as soft on terror, we can't even kill our own people.

(Shirley enters Denise's office wearing a witch costume)
Shirley: Boo.
Denise: That's perfect. I have to go to Salem later today maybe you should come with me.
Shirley: What's in Salem?
Denise: Possibly, um... Daniel's head.

(After Bethany overhears that Denny could be her potential father)
Denny: Hi honey. Who's your daddy?

Denise: I can't get closure from a spleen, this is not working.

Bella: You're dating Denny Crane? Why didn't you tell me?
Bethany: I wanted it to be a surprise. What's going on?
Bella: Well, Denny and I were once...
Denny: Engaged. (pause) Surprise.

Alan: I see. And how did you happen to end up with this Jeffrey Coho?
Melissa: Oh, we clicked.

(About Lincoln)
Brad: Was there any evidence at all that he could've done it or that he was a pedophile?
Jeffrey: You representing him or me in this, Brad?
Brad: I'm just asking you the questions that he'll be asking you if this ever goes to trial, Jeff.
Jeffrey: This goes to trial, one of us is a pretty terrible lawyer.

Denny: Bethany, I'm not the kind of guy that girls take home to their mother. I tend to, you know, hit on them.

(Brad is assigned to defend Jeffrey)
Jeffrey: No, no, no, no. Not him.
Paul: Yes him. This will be an opportunity for the two of you to bond.
Brad: (to Jeffrey in a mocking manner) Get yourself in a little trouble there... Sport.

(Jeffrey is being sued by Lincoln)
Jeffrey: I can defend this myself.
Paul: Very bad idea.
Jeffrey: I'm full of them.

Denise: Daniel died during a lung transplant surgery in Brazil.
Alan: And you get the news through a mariachi band?
Denise: You had to know Daniel. He always said when his time came, c'est la vie.

(About Lincoln)
Shirley: What exactly did you say about him?
Jeffrey: Oh, you know, that he might've been the killer.

(Lincoln enters Shirley's office)
Jeffrey: Lincoln.
Lincoln: Did someone speak? I heard a noise. It sounded a bit godless but I heard it all the same.

Alan: (lifting his glass in a toast) To Daniel Post. My loss.
Denny: I didn't know you even knew him.
Alan: I didn't. From what I gather, my loss.
Alan: You're not getting in this dress.

Jerry: More than half of the world's countries have outlawed capital punishment. Virtually all of the industrialized democracies have eliminated it. The five countries that execute the most people are in order: China, Iran, Saudi Arabia, the United States and Pakistan. Is that the company we want to keep?

Melissa: What's going on, Alan, is I'm not comfortable discovering you in closets photography buffing, or walking into your office finding some sex doctor measuring your pants, or smelling the waft of maple syrup after you've tried cases against old girlfriends. What's going on is I've had enough.