Boston Legal Season 2 Episode 7

Paul: You shot out your client's kneecap!

Alan: I squeezed a clown's nose tonight.
Denny: Good for you!

Denny: Hope you die. Denny Crane.

Denny: Hey kid, front and center. I bet you'd lick my shoes for a murder case, wouldn't you, kid?
Garrett: Oh, I would, sir.
Denny: Because I like you, you don't have to lick them. Just dust them with your sleeve.

Denny: Indigent are poor. Hate the poor. Can't pay.

Denny: It's fun being me. Is it fun being you?
Alan: Most of the time, yes actually.
Denny: Well, what else is there?
Alan: Indeed.

Alan: What would you do as mayor, Denny, really?
Denny: Oh, I don't know. I'd, uh... attack Rhode Island. It's small.

Brad: You need to stand up and deliver this closing.
Alan: Will the clown be there?

Denny: (to Judge Harvey Cooper) You're a douche bag. I don't do well with douche bags.

Melissa (to Alan): It just hit me. Um, the criterion on which I was hired, and now that I am hired, I just thought that I should be clear. I will not be objectified. I will not be ogled. If I am, I write you up. And no touching, no double entendres, no comments on what I'm wearing. If I get any of that, I write you up. I'm your assistant, not your subordinate. You cross that line, I... I write you up. Follow the rules, we should get along fine. That's all.
Brad: I told you to interview.

Dwight: It's Bumpy, isn't it? I had such a crush on that cow. That doesn't make me gay!