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Richie: Now Eddie, crackers?
Eddie: Yes, but it's never stopped me so far!
Richie: No, I mean have you got the crackers?
Eddie: No, it's just the way my trousers hang.
Richie: Eddie, enough of the crackers jokes. I'm talking about the things you put in your hand and pull.
Eddie: Well, I've got one of those, but I'm not going to stick it on the table!
Richie: Eddie, you are funnier than Jonathan Ross.
Eddie: But he's not funny.
Richie: Exactly!

Richie: (singing) God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay. Remember....uhh.

Richie: (Having just had his self portrait smashed over his head by Eddie) You're a Philistine, Edward Hitler! It took me fifteen minutes to paint that!