Shawn: (after finding out Cory and Wendy broke up) Alright! Free man again, on the prowl. I'll tell you what. Tonight, you and me - the Walenski twins. Party till we drop. What do ya say?
Mr. Turner: You want me to read this, or just give it to the guidance counselor?
Shawn: No go ahead, read it.
Mr. Turner: (reading Shawn's poem) My uncle Ralph, he does not care, 'Cause twice a month, he gets welfare. My uncle Chuck has nylon hair, He bought the rug with his welfare. (skimming through poem) Old Corvair... long nose hair... electric chair... It's a very colorful family you have there, Shawn.
Shawn: I didn't use their real names. That's OK, right?
Mr. Turner: Oh, yeah. The less I know, the better.
Eric: A haircut?? This is your solution to girls? I suppose when I'm starving, you'll buy me some pants?!
Shawn (to Cory after making out with a girl at Chubbie's): Remember in health class, that section on the movement of blood? I understand it now.
Alan (conversationally): Hey guys, where ya been?
Eric: Hey, I can get a haircut, as many as I want!
Cory: So after she made us dessert and read to us I walked her home and right there on the porch I laid out. I said "Wendy, it's over. Forever."
Shawn: How'd she react?
Cory: Well, she invited me in for oatmeal cookies, Grandma Jansen played the organ and we all sang Big Rock-Candy Mountain.
Shawn: Nice knowing ya.
Cory: You know, they have four generations living in the same house. The men don't say much.
Alan: Okay, Okay, family meeting. (to Cory) What the heck did you bring home?
Cory: (pointing to Amy) SHE let her in.
Amy: Oh, Come on! She's just a little girl playing house.
Alan: Amy, sweetheart, she's a little blond loon!
Amy: Nonsense! Look, if I thought there was anything to be concerned about, I would be the first one to sound the alarm.
Wendy: (walking down the stairs) Mrs. Matthews, I found this picture of you in your wedding dress. Maybe someday I'll get to try it on (runs back upstairs).
Amy: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Shawn (as an old man): How long you been married?
Cory: They want you to take the rolls!
Shawn: Do what I do, don't think.
Cory: I'm on an emotional roller coaster.
This is a reference to the season 1 episode Boy Meets Girl, in which the students watch a video on puberty. The video tells them that they may feel like they are on an emotional roller coaster.
Title: Breaking Up is Really, Really, Really Hard to Do
The episode's title comes from the Neil Sedaka song "Breaking Up is Hard to Do."