Eric: We might as well face it, Dad. We're in the middle of Philadelphia, we're never going to find anybody.
Alan: Yeah, what we need is a Grizzly Adams mountain man, who lives the outdoor life, knows this equipment, needs a job, and happens to wonder in here.
(door opens and in comes big burly mountain man)
Ezekiel: 'Scuse me, I just happen to wonder in here. Looking for the yogurt shop, I heard they was hiring scoopers. Although I know a lot less about yogurt, sprinkles, and waffle cones than I do about wilderness equipment. I am in powerful need of employment.