In response to Mr. Feeny's math problem, if one person washes a car in 6 min and another person takes 8 min to wash the same car, it would take approximately 3 min and 26 seconds to wash the car together. The point was not that the problem doesn't have an answer, but that in order to solve it, the kids must think differently than they have before.
Alan: Where are Eric and Cory?
Shawn: They went to the library.
Alan: The public library? The one that closes at 9 ?
Shawn: No. The other one.
Alan: Morgan, what are you doing up? It's 10:15.
Morgan: Shawn was just teaching me how to play 5-Card-
Shawn: Go Fish! 5 card Go Fish
Morgan: 'Jacks or better to open'
Morgan: (playing cards with Shawn) I have three daddies and two mommies.
Shawn: A full house?!?!
Morgan: Full House?!?! I LOVE those Olsen Twins!
Alan: I'm gonna put Morgan to bed, and then you an I are gonna talk a little more.
Shawn: Kind of like a relationship building thing?
Alan: No. (Goes upstairs)
Shawn: Huh. For the first time in my life, I'm in trouble with someone else's dad!
Cory (about the rose Alan is holding): Hey dad, I'm pretty sure Mr. Feeny numbers those things.
Alan: Well, this was hanging on our side of the fence so its number is up.
Eric: Okay, here's a hypothetical question. Let's say you're a girl, and you see me stumble into your best friend's lap and inadvertently French kiss her. Now you won't go out with me. (shakes Shawn) Why won't you go out with me?!
Shawn: I'm a little country, you're a little rock-n-roll?
Mr. Feeny: Mr. Minkus, you're wrong.
Minkus: Wrong? As in, not right?
Mr. Feeny: You know the law of averages better than I do, it was bound to catch up with you.
(Minkus gets up and quickly walks out of the classroom)
Mr. Feeny: Where are you going?
Cory: Yeah? If there's no bowling league, why is my Mom going out with this big, heavy...
(lifts up bag and realizes how light it is)
Cory: Eric, something's wrong, this doesn't weigh anything.
Eric: Well maybe Mom forgot her ball.
(Eric & Cory lift shoes out of the bag)
Shawn: ...And if those are bowling shoes there should be a number on the back, just above the spike heel.
(Eric pulls out a black dress)
Cory: Eric, what does this mean?
Eric: It means Mom's gonna' be flashin' some leg when she picks up that seven-ten split.
Minkus: They say the short term memory is the first thing to go.
Cory: Who says that?
Minkus: I forgot.
Shawn: The new Minkus. I like him!
Mr. Feeny: Interesting, isn't it Mr. Matthews? Mr. Minkus didn't get the correct answer, but Ms. Lawrence did. You would do well to consider that in your search for your answer.
Cory: She's cheating, she copies off dead guys.
Amy: I was dancing with your father.
Eric: Dad's not our father?!
Eric: You know the big difference between guys and girls? Girls want commitment; guys want girls.
Cory: What's the matter with commitment?
Eric: You are so eleven.
Mr. Feeny: In the course of your education you have always been taught to look for the right answer. But you must also know that in life, sometimes the right answer is that there isn't one.
Title: Once in Love With Amy
The episode title comes from the song of the same name written by Frank Loesser.