Breaking In Season 1 Episode 3

Dutch: (to Cameron) Hey, there he is. My girl's asexual bestie. Totally nonthreatening. I love this guy.

Cameron: Hey, a hybrid? What happened to your gas guzzler?
Dutch: Going green, Broheim. Yeah, I saw this intense movie about how we're killing our planet.
Cameron: "An Inconvenient Truth."
Dutch: "Water World." Yeah, the great Kevin Costner plays this fish dude. Really opened my eyes. So... I bought this puppy. Then I ripped out all that electric crap, dropped in an ass-ton of ponies. Well, I got a Michael Bolton. Giddyap!

Marcus: I like your face. You have a sister?
Cameron: No.
Marcus: How about a wig?

Jimmie Johnson: So, um, how much do you know about NASCAR?
Cameron: You mean the one where the guys with the mullets drive around in a circle and call it a sport? Not a fan. Why do you ask?

Dutch: (to Jimmie) Oh, I'm more than a fan, man. You're my second favorite human on the planet right after the guy who invented boobs!

Oz: Our newest client... one Jimmie Johnson, best known for being...
Cameron: Being 5-time consecutive NASCAR Sprint Cup champion and the Associated Press' Athlete of the Year 2009.
Oz: Looky here. Someone figured out how to type "NASCAR" into their little computer machine-y.

Oz: Hey. Hey. I told you to stop fixing things around here.
Cash: I know, I know, but hear me out. Look, I gave the copier a fully robotic brain. So now it has a F.P.G.A. neural cluster with monster computing power.
Oz: Can it still make copies?
Cash: It's a work in progress. I'm fixing it.