Bret Maverick

Pappyism: Men who claim they just wanna talk generally have more than just words on their mind.

Boy: You are Maverick, aren't ya?
Bret: That's right, son, I am.
Boy (to friend): Told ya so! You gonna win, Mr. Maverick?
Bret: I didn't come all this way to lose, son.

(Mary Lou helps Bret up after causing his horse to throw him)
Mary Lou: Oh! I'm - I'm really sorry about this.
Bret: Not nearly as sorry as I am, lady.

Bret: Lady, I don't like photographs of myself.
Mary Lou: Aw, that's because you've never been photographed by M.L. Springer.
Bret: I try to limit myself to one blinding a day.
Protester: Some people have no shame.
Bret: That's cause the others have enough for everybody.
Protester: Wastrel.
Bret: Biddy.

Mandy: I tell ya, Tombstone's about through. Big Bonanza's all played out - miners and farmers. Oh, I tell ya, boys, times are changin' faster than a new girl on Saturday night.
Bret: Well, there's one thing that hasn't changed, Mandy, you still look great.
Mandy: And you're still a liar.

Bass: I was worried you wouldn't make it, Maverick.
Bret: Well, Bass, now you can start worryin' that I did.

Mandy: Oh, and Maverick...good luck tomorrow.
Bret: Luck has got nothin' to do with it.

Bret: Look, pal, I don't know you, I never met you before and it was a black queen. Where do I get a towel with a shower?
Lucas: Who do you think you are turnin' your back on me!? You're too good for me, is that it? You're nothin' but a card-markin', deck-stackin', bottom dealin'...
Bret: Whoa, what happened to the best in three territories?
Lucas: You ain't spit - an' that red queen come outta your boot. I saw it.
(Bret turns to walk away and the drunk pulls a gun - half stuck in his coat)
Bret: I wanna remind you that I was minding my own business.
Lucas: You're just about ready to get your damn business blow'd off!

Bret: I didn't bring the plague, Sheriff, I just came here for a little game of cards.

Tom: You want me to accompany you back to the Red Ox, make sure you don't have any more problems?
Bret: The day I need your protection, Sheriff, that's the day I hang up my hat.

Holiday: You come far for this game?
Bret: Oh, a...thousand miles. Like you said, it's a big game.
Holiday: Yeah. Yeah, maybe my last.
Bret: Come on, Doc, you're too rotten to die.
Holiday (chuckles): Thanks, Maverick. I consider that a compliment. But the fact is, all I need to be a cadaver is a tall, white candle and a place to lie down.

Tom: Before y'all start, I have an announcement which probably won't be too popular. Nevertheless, I'll be checkin' all your weapons at the door.
Mandy: Why, Tom Guthrie, you can check my weapons any time you want.

Bret: Can't we just skip this? I only carry one gun in self-defense. I, uh, never pull it in anger. I hate violence.
Tom: Hand it over. (Bret hands it over) I'll take that, uh, Sharps four-barrel you pulled on Lucas yesterday. Right sleeve. (Bret hands it over) I read a newspaper account, uh, how you pulled a Colt .41 on Wyley Cooter.
Bret: Well, only after he shot me in the leg.
Tom: Left sleeve, I believe.
Bret: Damn newspapers. (Bret hands it over)
Tom: I read another account where you, uh, won a set of matched Bricbottoms from Zlotof the Russian. I'll take those, too. (laughter as Bret hands 'em over) Now, I'll take that Barnes 50-caliber you're said to carry in your boot. (more laughter and "Wow's" as Bret hands it over) 'Told you sometimes keep a palm gun in the crown of your hat?
Bret: Aw, no, I quit doin' that - gave me headaches. No...Uh, I think you got everything but my suspender button and my pocket watch, so...
Tom: No! No, I don't have the belly gun you pulled in Meeker last year - "Denver Star".
Bret: For a Sheriff, you sure do read a lot. (laughter as Bret hands it over)
Tom: I guess you gotta be kinda careful not to fall in a pond. Bass tells me that you sometimes keep a holdout gun in the small of your back. You know the procedure by now. (Bret turns around and Tom takes the gun) For a man who hates violence, you come pretty well-heeled.
Bret: With Ramsey Bass around, I don't want any of that violence happenin' to me. (to the crowd) Never felt so naked in my life!
Tom: Maybe I better take a look inside your hat.
Bret: I told ya, I don't pack that one anymore!
Tom: Well, you won't mind takin' off your hat then. (the hat lands on the table with a thud and Tom takes out the palm gun) Is that all?
Bret: Of course that's all.
Tom: How about your pocket watch?
Bret: I promise not to throw it at anyone.
Tom: Let me see it. (Bret pulls out a derringer on a chain and hands it over) Is that all?
Bret: No...think I'll strangle someone with my string tie.

Bret: Sheriff, since you're so set on havin' an honest game, that blue-eyed killer back there is a known associate of Mr. Bass. They got more signals than the Southern Pacific. I don't want him standin' behind me.

(Mary Lou sets off another blinding photo flash "explosion")
Bret: Are you gonna keep doing that?
Mary Lou: Well, of course!
Bret: Mandy why don't you kick her out? Kinda like playin' cards in an artillery range.

Bass (pointing a gun): Now...now I got you beat - just call.
Bret: You're holdin' the rule book, Bass, I'll call.
Bass: Full house...(turns over cards) cowboys over nines.
Bret (Bret turns over his cards): Four deuces.
Bass (cocks gun): Your luck just ran out.
Bret: Luck's got nothin' to do with it, Bass, you just got greedy. Like to give you a little advice.
Bass: Be the last words you'll ever say.
Bret: It's not what I got aimed at you that's gonna bother you, Bass, it's what I got it aimed at.
Bass (laughs): Who do you think you're bluffin'? I saw the Sheriff take ten guns off you, you couldn't have another one.
Bret: Well, I never met a lawman yet that'd look for a second derringer up the same sleeve. Now, you're out of the game, Bass, fold your gun, let the rest of us get on with it. This little pepper pot has got a hair trigger and my hand's gettin' a little shaky.
Bass: Mister, you are bluffin'.
Bret: Then you just call it... But no matter what happens, this cannon's gonna go off and you're gonna be tweetin' like a bird for the rest of your unnatural life.

Bret: Well, there's a hundred thousand dollars and a saloon in the middle of the table - and both of you are tapped out. I could buy this pot for ten dollars.

Holiday: Not and live to tell about it.
Bret: But, since we're all such...good and old friends, I'll just call.

Bret: (to Mary Lou) Look, there is one thing I am sure of. I do not wanna become a regular feature in your newspaper. So why don't you just go out and cover the elections or somebody's newborn baby or somethin' worth a whit and leave me alone?

Tom: There's no law against buyin' votes. Some of the folks around here need the money more than the choice. That's just the way it's done. Now, if you'll excuse me…
Rodney: Well, M. L. says … you should give longer speeches.
Tom: So she's told me more than once. But speechmakin' and handshakin' don't have anything to do with bein' a good Sheriff. When I came to this town they didn't even have elections. I ran off the Banovich gang and they hired me, it's as simple as that. Now a man's gotta…kiss babies - among other things.

Tom: Son, it's bad manners to press a personal question. Now, you're talkin' to a man who hasn't eaten in 24 hours - and if you don't get out of my way, I just may start with your drumstick.