Bret Maverick's "Big Store" con to get the townsfolk's land back from Everest Sinclair comes to a rousing and raucous conclusion.
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Mary Lou Springer
Sheriff Mitchel Dowd
Whitney Delaworth III
Jasmine Du Bois
Jack The Bartender
Pappyism: There are three things that man never seems to run short of - that's faith, hope, and greed.
Sinclair: I'll admit this Sandeen is, uh, a bit bizarre, but I do think he's sincere.
Mary Lou: (scoffs) I suppose, if you can call lizards sincere.
Kate: Well, I'm glad to see you came to your senses, Sinclair. Oh, but if you're offering Springer here in place of Jasmine, I'm afraid I'm not interested.
Sinclair: Miss Springer is merely here as my escort. You see, I-I am willing to compensate you for the loss of Jasmine.
Kate: Who said I lost her?
Sinclair: Well, I can't return her to you now, you…she's become a part of Clarity. And if, as you say, she's only a piece of property, why don't you let me buy her from you?
Kate: What are you gonna do, open a house of your own, Sinclair?
(after Kate insults him during her improvised stall of Sinclair)
Bret: That was pretty good, Hanrahan, except for the feeble excuses part.
Kate: (laughs) I thought I oughta add a note of truth to sell the story better.
(Philo stops Bret and Arthur on the street)
Philo: Good afternoon, gentlemen. If you have a moment perhaps I could share the good word with you.
Bret: I don't have time for you, Sandeen.
Philo: Better make the time because the word I have is "con" and it's written all over you two.
(Arthur grabs Philo and slams him up against a post)
Philo: Back off, Bucko. I have friends upstairs who'd like to see me in one piece or don't you know what a lightning bolt can do to a man. Bret?
Bret: All right, Arthur, put him down.
Philo: (imitates lightening striking Arthur) And you're a fistful of ash.
Bret: All right, Sandeen, you've got 30 seconds - then I'm gonna feed you to Arthur for breakfast. Now, what do you want?
Philo: I want a little piece of what you have going and I'm silent as a monk in a monastery mass.
Bret: I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Philo: I don't know who the mark is and I don't care, but unless you push some of that "Klondike" gold in my direction, I'm gonna sing the hallelujah chorus to the law. Comprende?
Bret: Well now, I thought you heard a "higher voice" or something?
Philo: The money is for the movement, not for me.
Bret: The movement?
Philo: (shows his Clarity button) Clarity makes all things clear. Now does the devil ante up, or do I drop a holy roller on the sheriff?
Tom: I don't mind tellin' you, Whitney, few things in life are any sweeter than gettin' outta debt.
Delaworth: Indeed...save possibly seeing ones innovations come to life. Mind if I break?
Tom: Uh, what innovations?
Jack: Well, I put out the word on that wrestling contest, boss.
Tom: Wrestlin' contest?
Delaworth: Oh, just a thought I had to add a little color.
Jack: But I'm havin' trouble findin' a big enough bear.
Tom: Bear? Wait a minute...
Delaworth: No, now, now, now, no need to get alarmed. The patrons are just gonna wrestle each other - only the winner gets to wrestle the bear.
Tom: I thought you were leavin' town right away. This is just an investment to you.
Delaworth: Well, yes, but...when I saw the tremendous potential this place had...Well, I knew Dad wouldn't be pleased if I left without making at least an effort to beef up the sagging revenues.
Tom: Sagging!? Wait a minute, you said the bar receipts looked good.
Jack: Where do you want me to put that fire-eater when he comes in?
Sinclair: Now, do I have to take care of Kate myself or are you man enough to go with me? (Bret hesitates, looking appropriately chagrinned ) Well!?
Bret: All right, all right.
Mary Lou: Well, what do you have to say now, Kate?
Kate: (chuckles) Blind luck can take fifteen hundred and turn it into six thousand, so don't let it go to your head, Sinclair. Your system still has a long way to go.
Sinclair: Well, I certainly hope so.
Bret: He looks like a winner to me, Kate.
Kate: Who doesn't?
Sinclair: (about Sandeen's Klondike Room outburst) Naturally, he wasn't expecting to see me there tonight. When he did, the shock of it unbalanced him, poor thing. He almost upset the whole plan.
Mary Lou: Well, if it wasn't for your quick thinking...
Bret: W-well, what'd you tell Kate?
Sinclair: Well, the truth, of course. Happens to me all the time. A follower will see me in a restaurant or a store, lose all propriety, all décor, starts screaming my name, want to touch me, things like that...
Bret: Is that really true?
Sinclair: Oh, you don't know the half of it.
Mary Lou: Are you sure we're not pushing him too hard?
Sinclair: You have to push people like Maverick. If you don't, they will rot in their own perspiration. Besides, the key to the whole system is the young dealer.
Mary Lou: Well, you mean... we may not really need Maverick anymore?
Sinclair: It's a comforting thought if he becomes a problem.
Delaworth: Look, I'll tell you what, I'll step in and do the last one with the bear if you don't want to.
Bret: What bear!?
Delaworth: You say the name Delaworth to people, they're not even gonna roll over in their sleep, but Maverick! Well, there's not another saloon in the territory that has that asset - and wrestling's just the beginning. I mean, in no time, we'll bring junkets out here from back east. You know, see the wild west? "Spend a day...in a savage desert...and a night...in the famous Red Ox Saloon...gambling...with Bret Maverick". Now, believe me, people will kill for something like that.
Bret: So would I.
(Bret hands the wrestling contest sign to Jack)
Bret: Burn this.
Jack: (reluctantly) Okay, boss.
Delaworth: (softly) Save it.
Jack: (smiling) Okay, boss.
Bret: (about Delaworth) I mean, where'd you find this guy? You know what he is, don't you?
Tom: I do now.
Bret: Yeah, he's a slick, fast-talkin' little weasel with just enough eastern polish that he could sell anything he wants to out here. (imitating Delaworth) : I think Dad would be pleased, don't you? I mean, come on. Tom, how could you be taken in by a guy like that?
Tom: Well, it's not the first time
Bret: Aw-w, now, I am nothin' like that!
Tom: Oh, no? What do you call that little party upstairs - a church social?
Bret: Now, that's a classic, Tom, a classic! 'Course, now I know why nobody with a name bothered to show up. They knew I was bullheaded enough to try it in a place like this.
Delaworth: I just want to say, my hat is off to you. You have done a magnificent job, really summa cum laude. Dad...would be speechless.
Bret: Would you excuse me? I'm right in the middle of a game, friend.
Delaworth: Oh, I'm sorry. Sure, anything you say, partner.
Bret: You get a reputation, everybody thinks they know ya. (scoffs)
Sinclair: (nodding) Tiresome, isn't it?
Kate: Well, if that's all you can do with fifteen hundred, I would say your system's a little lean. What have you got there - 8,000?
Sinclair: Well, I'd say closer to ten!
Kate: Aha, still caca, to be precise. Why don't you put some real money where your mouth is?
Philo: (talking to the voice in the sky) All right...I need some answers now. I've had enough of your silences. You can't just speak to me one time and then vamoose like that. I'm a first-rate guide and I can read sign, but you're not laying down enough track. Do you know what I mean? I mean, first I pass out what you tell me and then everybody laughs at me; and then I...open my soul to Clarity and-and the prime mover turns out to be a drummer with a flashy suit and a great set of teeth. You have to tell me where the path leads or...or I'm gonna go back...the same way that I came. Do you hear me?
(Maverick offers to let Sandeen "in")
Bret: Now, uh, what did you want? You...let's say, uh, 10%? Or would that be tempting you from the higher path you found?
Philo: (steps away and looks skyward) Alright, you call it. I have a bona fide offer on the table, you either speak now or you forever hold your peace. (silence) I'm in, Maverick.
Cy: Oh, you figured I was goin' for my gun, did you?
Bret: The thought occurred to me.
Cy: Me, too, but it's past doin' now. He's got every last cent they ever had.
Bret: Well, for a while, maybe.
Cy: Don't you ever get wet in a rainstorm, gambler? It's over, finito. There's nothin' left, no place to put it.
Bret: Well, it-it looks bad. Aw-w, all right, it looks worse than bad. But that's no reason to turn tail and run. We got the room, we got the players - all we need is a few minor...
Cy: You just hold it, you hold it right there! I followed too far already and I'm not goin' one more step in that direction. You hear me!?
Bret: Well, now, look, I proved to you the system works. I showed you everything. I helped you win. Now just gimmie the money, huh? D-do like I tell ya.
Sinclair: There's something wrong here. Either that or you're runnin' out of what little nerve you had.
Bret: There's nothing wrong. I just...wanna do it this way. Can I have the money?
Sinclair: No, I'm sorry, Maverick. I'm afraid you're another one of those people that just can't cut it. What a shame. I thought this experience would give you back your self-respect.
Bret: I knew I never shoulda trusted you.
Tom: Well, it seems that our friend Whitney Delaworth III has more than just a generation over "dear old dad".
Bret: Why do I have to be the one to shrink his suits.
Tom: Because he's just that close to puttin' us both in jail and you are the one that promised to keep him outta this. I've got all I can do to get rid of the fire-eater.
Bret: What fire-eater!?
Delaworth: Fine man, Guthrie, fine man - full of constancy and fortitude.
Bret: Yeah, well, you can save your five dollar words 'cause I'm holdin' all your nickels and dimes.
Kate: Well, tell me you have enough faith in your system to show up with some real money.
Sinclair: Enough to shake even your faith.
Kate: Really? How's that?
Sinclair: Why don't you, uh, join me in a game and find out?
Kate: I don't gamble with the customers. It's a house rule.
Mary Lou: But it's your house.
Sinclair: Maybe she's afraid my system might work and she would lose...and...
Kate: I just hope you're as smart as your mouth, Sinclair, because you just bit off a game you won't forget. Alright, boys, clear off the Red Dog table. I gotta teach somebody a lesson.
Fingers: Are you kiddin' me? You folks are naturals. You know, I haven't seen the Red Dog work so well since we took down the Duke of Flushingtom...or was it the Earl of Worshingham? One of those guys.
Kate: I will admit, Maverick, it had its moments.
Tom: Then you're not sorry he dragged you into this?
Kate: Never hurts to expand one's professional horizons.
Delaworth: Consummate rendition of a classic, Maverick, I'm impressed.
Kate: You could've given me just a little more warning about that added ace in your sleeve.
Tom: Well, we thought a genuine reaction from you might sell it better.
Kate: Well, if you sold it any better, I'd start shooting.
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