Bret Maverick

Season 1 Episode 13

The Eight Swords Of Dyrus And Other Illusions Of Grandeur

Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Mar 23, 1982 on NBC
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Episode Summary

The Eight Swords Of Dyrus And Other Illusions Of Grandeur

A shady magician arrives in Sweetwater to work at the Red Ox but appears to have more than magic on his mind...and he won't allow anyone, including Bret, to get in his way.

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    Sarah Rush

    Sarah Rush

    Ida Rose Mugford/Princess Athena

    Guest Star

    Sid Haig

    Sid Haig

    The Mighty Sampson

    Guest Star

    W.T. Zacha

    W.T. Zacha

    Rupert Cutler

    Guest Star

    Luis Delgado

    Luis Delgado

    Shifty Delgrado

    Recurring Role

    Tommy Bush

    Tommy Bush

    Deputy Sturgess

    Recurring Role

    Jack Garner

    Jack Garner

    Jack The Bartender

    Recurring Role

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (14)

      • Dowd: You take the north end, Sturge.
        Sturgess: How come I always get the end with the alleys, the graveyard, and the swamp? It spooks me, you know? Why can't I take the south end once in awhile?
        Dowd: Because that's where the brewery is, Sturgess. And I don't want to have to roll you home in a barrel.

      • Ida Rose: Oh, I never thought we'd get here. (sighs) I'd sell my soul for a bath.
        Malooley: How can you sell what I already own?
        Ida Rose: Oh, twenty-five a month buys you a lot, Great, but not that much. Tonight, a real bed!
        Malooley: Don't count on it until the deal is set. Keep your mouth shut and your parts moving.

      • Cutler: You callin' or tuckin' tail?
        Bret: I'll see the $2.00. (Cowboy grins, laying down his cards, but Bret lays down better and takes the pot) Would you gentlemen excuse me, please?
        Cutler: Hey, ain't you gonna give me a chance to get my money back?
        Bret: I try to never to work for anything less than five dollars an hour.

      • Jack: What'd I tell you, Tom? You can't lose!
        Bret: Which is the best reason to double-think it.
        Malooley: And who is this?
        Tom: My partner, Bret Maverick.
        Malooley: Ah, yes, well, Bret Maverick. This is indeed an honor.
        Bret: Well, you got good hands and a fast mouth, kid. That usually means there's a catch somewhere.

      • Bret (to Malooley): You better tell your rabbit to move over, they'll be two of us in the hat.

      • Cutler: You cheat, you lie, you steal - and I heard you're the queen son of a leper pig.
        Bret: You'd be smart to stop right now.
        Cutler: I'm just beginnin'. In fact, I heard you wasn't even a real man at all, and I'm just dyin' to find out for myself - so start sheddin' them duds. NOW! All of 'em! (Bret takes off his coat) Shiny vest, fancy shirt. (Bret suddenly knocks him down and pulls a derringer) Wouldn't ya know it? A fancy little gun.
        Bret: You got two minutes to get outside that door. If I ever see you again, you're dead.

      • Bret: Next time.
        Cutler: Not on your best day, pants rabbit.

      • Malooley: (to Rodney) Out, out, out, out, out! No civilians allowed during preparations. (to Ida Rose) Remember the Great Malooley's 15th Commandment : Thou shall not fool around with locals.

      • Tom: You know how old "Hang 'em High" Randall feels about even lookin' cross-eyed at a lawman.
        Mary Lou: He's already spread it all over town, Mitch, ten drifters don't weigh as much as one prop of a lawman's blood. He plans to make an example of Maverick.
        Dowd: I don't know what I can do to help.
        Tom: Maverick has a plan.
        Dowd: He always does. Please... can't you see I'm dying of lead poisoning?
        Tom: Every man feels that way the first time he's shot.

      • Sturgess: Uh, maybe you better excuse us, Tom. Uh, this here's, uh, the hangman. Uh, he needs to estimate...
        Bret: Hangman? I haven't even been tried yet!
        Sturgess: Yes, sir, I know, but, uh, Judge Randall...
        Bret: ...uh, wants to be ready since he already knows how it's gonna come out.
        Sturgess: Yes, sir.

      • Rodney: Uh, no matter they wanted Maverick gone. Look, I better go tell the Judge before he leaves town. Are you gonna be alright?
        Ida Rose: Sure. They haven't found it and they need me for the show.
        Rodney: What's your real name?
        Ida Rose: Oh. Um... Ida Rose Mugford.
        Rodney: (nervous laugh) Yeah, I-I think I like Princess Athena better.
        Ida Rose: So do I.

      • Malooley: Ah-h, the gallant knight. How touching.
        Rodney: You're not gonna let her go. What are you gonna do - saw her in half like the one in Cleveland?
        Malooley: My, my, my, my, my, you have been busy. No, nothing like that. (laughs) It was much too messy. I think the Princess is a prime candidate for the Eight Swords of Dyrus. These trapdoor mechanisms have been known to jam. It'll be sad, of course, and I'll have to cancel the rest of the engagement
        Rodney: What are you gonna do to me?
        Malooley: There's a skeleton under the Red-Ox that's just dying for a little company.

      • Cowboy (watching the magic show): Ah, this ain't nothin'. Down at Reno's in Tucson, they got a one-armed Turkish fella who juggles whiskey bottles while he whistles "Camptown Races" with his mouth full of bullets. Now that's entertainment.

      • Bret: You know, I always wondered what happened to them. Oh, every now and then, I'd hear about the legend of the Kurzfeld diamonds. It was always good for a laugh, until now. Damn if they didn't come back and almost get me killed.
        Mary Lou: You know what I'd call that?
        Bret: Ah, please, please, Mary Lou, I'm in no mood for the "poetic justice" line.
        Jack: Oh, no, no, Maverick. It's more than that - it's magic... well, it's almost magic.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)