Tom and Bret are suckered into protecting a U.S. gold shipment from a ruthless band of former Confederate soldiers. But for Tom, there's a lot more to it than that.
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Sheriff Mitchel Dowd
Jack The Bartender
Cy: Well, I must be seein' things.
Bret: Good mornin', Cy. How about a fresh cuppa coffee just to take the edge off the morning chores?
Cy: Well, you haven't been awake this close to sunup since your last all-night poker game. You feelin' alright?
Bret: Crisp as a new bill.
Tom: Just what are you up to, Maverick?
Bret: Why do I have to be up to anything?
Tom: 'Cause you never offered any help before, not even when I asked for it.
Bret: Can't a man offer his services to a friend without being suspected a somethin'?
Tom: Some can, but you can't. What's the catch?
Bret: Now, Tom, that hurts. That really hurts.
Bret: (about Tom) I told ya I'd get him to agree. (Cy rolls his eyes) Well now, don't look at me like that.
Cy: You coulda told him the truth.
Bret: I did. I am not running a game.
Cy: (scoffs) You're the only person I know…who can feed a man moldy biscuits and have him think it's hard candy.
(having sent the sheriff away, Crow takes on a $100,000 gold deposit)
Crow: Well, your gold will certainly be safe in Sweetwater, Mr. Varney. My vault is impregnable.
Varney: Yeah, that's real comforting to know. Well, I-I've got a long ride back.
Crow: You're going?
Varney: Soon as I wire the fort. Folks back at the mine'll be wantin' to bury their dead.
Crow: Yes, but what about the gold?
Varney: That belongs to the U.S. government now. It's your job to see they get it. Oh, Crow, there's no such thing as an impregnable vault. I'd make sure the local sheriff was on top of this if I was you.
(Crow slams the desk, waking the sleeping deputy)
Sturgess: Yes sir, what can I do for ya, Mr. Crow?
Crow: It is what I can do for you that brings me here today, Sturgess.
Sturgess: How's that?
Crow: (smiling) Have you ever thought of becoming sheriff yourself? Naming your own deputies? Taking the reins of command? Knowing that everyone in town was looking to you for strength and protection?
Sturgess: Well, you know, I had a dream like that once. (chuckles)
Sturgess: Ha ha - scared the devil outta me. Everybody waitin' on me to tell 'em what to do. I woke up in a cold sweat. (Crow sighs) Didn't sleep for two nights after that. Why?
Crow: No reason. Just find me a spare badge, would you, Sturge?
(Crow tries to snow Tom into becoming temporary sheriff)
Crow: If you are too selfish to volunteer for public service then the town will just have to do without a sheriff.
Tom: (watching Maverick greet men getting off the stage) Well, I wouldn't want that. 'Got yourself a deputy.
Crow: Oh, why the, uh, sudden change of heart?
Tom: Might be worth it just to see the look on his face.
Bret: (seeing Tom's badge) All right, Tom, where's the thorn under that rosy smile? And what're you doin' with that thing on your vest?
Tom: Just a little vacation from saloon keepin', that is what you wanted.
Bret: Well, what happened to fishing?
Bret: You know, Tom, it's just like you to waste a perfectly good vacation doin' someone else's job.
Bret: Jack! Alright, keep their glasses full. When the time comes, I want their wallets floatin'.
Jack: They ain't havin' no trouble runnin' up your tab on their own.
Bret: Emmett! Emmett! Hey, glad to see you, good you could come, Emmett. Yeah, sit down, have a drink. Uh, things are gonna get started any minute.
Snow: I don't need a drink, Maverick, I just need a square deal. And I've come too far to tolerate another one of your deceptions!
Bret: Now, how was I supposed to know that Lola would fall in love with St. Louis, huh?
Snow: She also took a strong liking to my wallet.
(Bang poses as a potential depositor to get a look at the bank)
Crow: I am sorry, I do not deal in grubstakes.
Bang: Oh, no, you got it wrong. That's real hard country up there, there's no tellin' what could happen - and I wanna put my life savings in a safe place so my kinfolk can claim it if I don't come back.
Crow: Well, then you did come to the right place. How much are we talking about?
Bang: Oh, no. I ain't sayin' till I know this place is safe. That there vault looked kinda puny to me.
Crow: Puny? Hardly, Mr. Reed. That vault is impregnable. That has a new device called a time lock. Once it's locked at night, it cannot be opened till the morning. Oh, no, your fortune will be very, very safe
Bang: Well, I don't know...
Crow: Here, take a look yourself... (Bang examines the vault door) Well, what do you think?
Bang: Oh, well, it looks fit. I guess it's all right. (hands Crow a check)
Bang: Well, it was $25, but I had to buy some bullets and some tobacky.
Crow: Your life savings?
Bang: Well, it...ain't been much of a life.
Crow: Get out of here, Mr. Reed.
Bang: Well, anything you say, Mr. bank, anything you say.
(Tom forces Crow to come clean about the gold shipment)
Tom: I shoulda known it was somethin' like that. How much gold?
Crow: A hundred thousand - dust.
Tom: It would take a squad to guard that much! Nice a you to leave it up to me.
Crow: Well, maybe we could wire for help?
Tom: It's too late. The lines are down. I oughta make you eat this tin along with the gold.
Crow: Tom, please, try to understand. I mean, I-I would pin on the badge myself, except...Sturge and I, we couldn't stand a chance against those cutthroats. You were the only man I could think of who wouldn't run when he found out.
Tom: Bret. I got a problem. I may need some help.
Bret: Anything you want, Tom. You just name it.
Tom: Remember that passel of rattlers sittin' in the corner?
Bret: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Tom: Elijah Crow's got a hundred thousand in gold dust sittin' in his bank, and I think they're fixin' to steal it.
Bret: Oh, well, I-I don't know what that has to do with me.
Tom: Thought maybe you'd help.
Bret: I don't even know what it has to do with you, for that matter. Just take the badge off.
Tom: I can't do that.
Bret: Well, sure you can. You just reach up and unpin it.
Tom: I can't! I agreed to do the job. Maybe for the wrong reason.
Bret: Oh? What reason was that?
Tom: Never mind. Are you in or out?
Bret: Out. Way out.
Snow: Don't act so innocent, Maverick. What were you plannin' to do, sell it twice?
Tom: Come on, Bret. I'll have to take you in till I can get to the bottom of this.
Bret: Oh, be serious, Tom. He gets a little cranky, he likes to poke fun, but you can forget that, Emmett. I mean, we're partners, Tom and I. No way he's gonna lock me up. Right, Tom? (Tom smiles and the cell door closes on Bret) Tom? Tom?
Tom: It's a shame that bull had to disappear today, Cy.
Bret: Oh, spare me the sympathy and do somethin' clever like lettin' me outta here.
Tom: I'd really like to do that, Bret - especially with that bunch of renegade rebels gettin' set to make a run on the bank.
Bret: Well, I'm not gonna do you much good in here, now, am I?
Tom: Suppose not, but then you don't wanna...tangle with that mess.
Cy: A real snake supper, you ask me.
Bret: Come on, Tom. Now, we're partners, right? I mean, partners help each other out of trouble all the time. Where would this territory be without people like that?
Bret: Why you no-good, lowlife...You put a star on that vest a yours, you turn into a whole new set of books, don't ya, huh? You relocated the bull.
Tom: Got your attention, didn't it?
Bret: Yeah, you got my attention. I'll tell you what ya got, ya got a charge of false arrest, unlawful imprisonment, bull-napping... You know what they can do to you for that?
Tom: Couldn't be any worse than what I'm facin' right now.
Tom: It's all right, Cy, we'll manage. There's got to be folks in town that'll be willin' to lend a hand.
Bret: Oh, you gonna set them up, too, huh?
Tom: No need to. They're the kinda people that made this territory what it is today, partner!
Bret: All right, Guthrie, all right!
Tom: All right, what?
Bret: All right. Give Snow his bull, get the keys and let me out. I'll make my assistance available - on one condition! We do it my way?
Bret: Blackmail never did stimulate my thinking. Assuming they're as dangerous as Tom says...(John Henry shoots through the window, missing) How many of 'em out there?
Tom: Looks like just one. I'm goin' out. (John Henry rides off as they rush outside) That stimulate your thinkin'?
Crow: Moving the gold is entirely out of the question. I assured Mr. Varney that the vault was safe - and I intend to see that it stays that way.
Bret: I told ya he wouldn't go for it.
Crow: May I remind you, Maverick, that that entire vault is made of double-thick concrete, plus a half inch of tempered steel in between?
Tom: Oh, they're not gonna go for the vault itself, Crow. I wouldn't.
Crow: Then how do you figure that they'll try?
Bret: Well, the vault's gonna be open all day for business, right?
Crow: I could keep it locked, if necessary.
Cy: (wearily) There's still you, banker.
Crow: Me? Are you seriously suggesting that they would...try to force me to open it? That they would...keep me a prisoner in here with a...gun at my head?
Bret: Oh, he's right, Tom. Give him back his star. The gold's safe in the vault.
Tom: You can't bring trouble like that gang into town without a fight, Crow. They've got at least one too many guns we know of - unless, of course, you wanna ride along.
Crow: No, not necessarily.
Cy: I didn't think so.
Bret: We're just wastin' our time. I told you goin' back to the sheriff wouldn't work out.
Tom: (removing his badge) Well, at least I tried.
Cy: You be sure and let us know how it all comes out with the gold, banker.
Crow: All right, all right! I will...try to consider some alternatives.
Shifty: (pouring gold dust into empty bottles) This make any sense to you?
Jack: Nope. I just work here.
Sturgis: Well, this ain't nothin' to say against Mitch, you understand, but, well...Tom, I'm awful glad you saw fit to help me out. I never woulda thought of somethin' like this.
Tom: Oh, that's all right, Sturge. You just head on to the saloon and get a few more up to the bank - and take it easy.
Bret: Well, it's nice of ya to...share the credit for all this.
Tom: Hey, you should still be thankin' me for lettin' you outta jail.
Bret: You mean it doesn't show?
Bret: There it is, that's the last of it. Now they can rob the bank, ride out of town with a small fortune in sand - a very small fortune.
Tom: Somebody's still liable to get hurt, though. They've killed for it already.
Bret: You know, I've been givin' that some thought...
Tom: And you've come up with a game to fix it.
Bret: For somebody who wants my help, you spend an awful lotta time lookin' down your nose at it.
Tom: I suppose so. There's just something about your methods, Maverick, that makes my clothes itch.
Bret: You wanna go out in the middle of the street and end it in a blaze of gunfire?
Tom: No, not this time.
Bret: Then it won't hurt ya not to bark at me so loud.
Tom: Yeah, but it sure would feel funny comin' out different.
Bret: Their guns should be comin' in any minute. You sure you're takin' enough powder outta those shells?
Cy: Gambler, I was makin' bullets 'fore you started playin' poker.
John Henry: You gonna arrest me, Sheriff?
Tom: I ought to - but then I'd be facin' five angry guns from...your friends inside there, wouldn't I?
John Henry: Now that's real smart thinkin', Sheriff.
Tom: Well, at least it's thinkin' - more'n I can say's rollin' around between your ears.
John Henry: Well, I let this do my thinkin' for me.
Tom: Won't make you any smarter, son, and big gun don't make a big man.
John Henry: Big enough, I reckon!
Tom: Just big enough to be another dumb, dead kid. Your shot, you call it.
John Henry: (scoffs) That's right, Sheriff, 'cause you ain't gonna do nothin', are ya?
Tom: Well, don't forget we talked. Oh...(punches the kid, knocking him out)
Bret: Well, Tom, I told you distract him, not kill him.
Tom: Don't worry about him. If I wanted to hurt him, he'd be through the wall, not layin' there.
Bang: You raise that gun to me, boy...you best be ready to use it.
John Henry: I will if I have to.
Bang: The only thing you have to do is to nail down that tongue a yours and take orders! Now you do somethin' stupid now, boy, you're gonna go down full a more holes than a bird full a buckshot.
Tom: You know, Maverick, sometimes I think it'd be as easy for you to rob a bank as you do those poker chips.
Bret: Aw, no, no, no. They chase bank robbers further, who needs that pressure? No, but there was just a moment there yesterday - when we were lookin' at all that gold - ah, you understand.
Tom: No, not really.
Bret: Tom. you've got a warped sense of values, you know that? I mean, it's just downright unnatural you can stand there and look at all that gold - and not have just a little twinge of desire.
Tom: It depends on who's doin' the lookin'.
Dowd: Guthrie, what do you think you're doin' wearin' that badge?
Bret: It's a waste of time, Mitch. I've asked him a dozen times, I haven't got a straight answer yet.
Bret: (after John Henry fires) I thought we fixed that gun!
Dowd: That was a gun!?
Bret: (to Tom) Well, don't look at me like it's the first time I was ever wrong!
Dowd: What in heaven's name is going on here?
(Crow and Dowd are taking all the credit)
Bret: We do the work, they take the credit.
Tom: What else is new?
Bret: Well, the least they could do is offer us a reward or somethin'.
Tom: Oh, but the warm feelin' in your heart should be reward enough.
Bret: I don't have a warm feeling in my heart, Tom. I'd rather have a reward or a commission.
Tom: Now, he said thank you.
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