Britain's Next Top Model

Monday 9:00 PM on Living Premiered Sep 14, 2005 In Season





Britain's Next Top Model Fan Reviews (7)

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out of 10
75 votes
  • Borig and how did that creep get on television?

    First, let me admit that I'm a fan of America's Next Top Model. I've never seen the British version and unable to get enough of ANTM, I gave this a try when I saw it in the TV guide.

    The girls are the same on both shows in that they're hopeful and eager. I was disappointed to NOT see any of the underdogs I've come to so love about ANTM. Aside from that, the judges are just boring pretentious people. I've seen dead people who are more lively.

    Now I was only watching the selection process and I suppose I was hoping for that American dose of that all too candy coated "you can do it too!" you see on ANTM. Where a model is told to that ever girl isn't perfect and you have to learn your angles, blah, blah, blah. If you watch ANTM you know what I'm talking about. It's inspiring.

    What's not inspiring is watching three pampas judges say to half the girls they don't like "Let us count the ways you suck." Tyson came to the rescue of a few girls and he might actually pop on camera with another cast. Any other cast. As it stands the trio of British judges include the washed up waitress -- or whatever her job was. They mentioned what she's famous for but I didn't like her enough to remember. Then there's Shortie, the creep. You often hear people talk about the "squee girls." (The tweens Disney creates psuedo pop stars for. It was probably an inevitable reinvention of the mousketeers. But I digress. )

    Well, Shortie is a squee man. "Let me join you girls, ha, ha." As he throws himself into a picture. His hole demeanor screams "squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm touching supper hot chicks. I bumped her breast on purpose but made it look like an accident. I'm so smart squee. I'm going to have sex with one of this girls, just as soon as I can figure out which one is the weakest. Squeeeeeeeee."

    Too bad he doesn't emote half as much when he's actually discussing modeling potential. Oh, wait, there was that one model. He stood up and rubbed her flat stomach, ran his hand down toward her crotch, and then rubbed her butt. The Brits laughed. Tyson just looked seriously uncomfortable.

    If there's anything good to say about Squee Shorty, is that I at least remember him because I think there was a third British judge. But I'm not sure.

    On the plus side, this show is devoid of Tyra's crazy. (Honestly, even for a fan, sometimes ATMN seems schizophrenic.) I'm not sure why less crazy equates to a cure for insomnia. So, in summation. Watch the show if you can sleep and you want to watch Squee Shorty find creative ways to grope the girls.
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