Brooke Knows Best Season 1 Episode 1

(Shows Taser)
Hulk: Look at this. Just in case one of these guys comes parasailing in on your balcony or something.
Brooke: Oh my god, you got a taser?

(Seeing Hulk drilling deadbolts into the door)
Brooke: What are you doing?
Hulk: This is good for security.
Brooke: Oh my God.
Hulk: When I came in this morning, you could just push this door open with one hand.
Brooke: Dad, that looks so bad though.
Hulk: You don't like it paint these things white it'll be like a fashion statement. Nobody has white dead bolts. it's a beautiful thing.

(To Glenn)
Hulk: Like on the barometer of gay with ten being the gayest, where do you fall?

Glenn: Whats up Terry, Did you see the hot tub?
Hulk: I did. We had a talk about the hot tub and that there always has to be more than two people in it.
Brooke: The hot tub is the best invention in the whole world for single people.
Hulk: You can catch herpes in there.
Brooke: Oh yeah, and he also said that if I go into the hot tub, that I'll get struck by lightning.
Hulk: Well Florida is the lightning capital of the world you know.

Hulk: What in the Hell is this?
Brooke: Those are my boots.
Hulk: Brooke.
Brooke: Dad, come on.
Hulk: What is this?
Brooke: It's a dress.
Hulk: Thats not a dress, its a mini t-shirt. And where are the bottoms that match. Oh my god Brooke, I almost got put in my grave by this divorce and now your going to put me it with your lack of clothing.