Amy: You look happy. Let me guess. Your egg sandwich fell on the floor, and they gave it to you for free.
Jake: No. Can you do that? Why doesn't everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?
Amy: (sighs) I was trying to insult you.
Jake: And instead you gave me an amazing life hack!
Jake: And a very Merry Christmas to you, Captain. Ho, ho, ho!
Deputy Chief Gerber: Captain Holt has received a number of death threats.
Jake: Oh. I really came in here with the wrong energy.
Ray: Captains receive meaningless threats all the time. It's really no big deal.
Jake: Of course. Totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that's right 'cause it threatens death!
Amy: Now, the Captain won't allow us to give him all the presents we bought him.
Rosa: You are the only one that did that.
Gina: (to Amy) I could take a pic of myself dressed up as an elf. "Elfie selfie."
Charles: This is just like Christmas at my parent's house! Why do they have separate dining rooms?
Ray: Nice work, Jeffords. Nice work, Peralta.
Jake: Captain, you're doing it. You're emoting.
The song that plays during the Santa fight is "Christmas in Hollis" by Run-D.M.C.